AloneInACrowd Female • 23 • Nashville, TN • United States

offline Views: 601

Status... Taken
Orientation... Straight
I'm into... Health Love Mind Painting Music weight body issues
I'm working on... Figuring out what I am supposed to be doing with my life and trying to lose weight so once I figure out I can actually do it.

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

Last On: 07/01/08 PST

About me

I'm a plus size 20 something trapped in a body I don't feel I belong in and a world that believes beauty is only skin deep. It's impossible to hide and as frustrating as this is, I feel like I manage mask all of it with earrings and mascara. I long to be the hollywood starlet with the executive husband, but at the same time I would give anything to feel sexy in just jeans and a t-shirt. I would give anything to feel sexy at all.

Drugs, alcohol, and drama have fourced me to move back to where i ran away from 4 years ago. Home. And even though I have been back for over a year i still feel so distant from myself, from the person I used to be. In some ways my life has become a spectator sport, where I am either watching it pass by or chasing after it just trying to keep up.

So here goes...this is my shot at (as cliche as it may sound) finding myself. My attempt to stop chasing and stop watching life from the stands... this should be interesting.

Interests

What I Do

,Hang out with friends,watching movies,drinking too much,working to hard,

Musical Interests

,I'm officially addicted to my iPod,Matchbox 20,Angie Aparo,Ryan Adams,The Beatles,Pink Floyd,James Morrison,the Mamas and the Papas,the Dobbie Brothers,Yael Naim,Postal Service,Carbon Leaf,Emily King,311,Sublime,and Anything you can dance to!!!,

Good Reads (my fav books)

,Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff,Christ's Childhood Pal By: Christopher Moore,The Perks of Being a Wallflower By: Steven Chobosky (i don't know how to spell his name),Me Talk Pretty One Day and Holidays on Ice both by David Sedaris,

On The Marquis (my fav movies)

,Dazed and Confused,Dirty Dancing,Too Wong Foo,Crash,Anything with Johnny Deep (that man is a freakin genius),Thank You For Smoking,RENT,Juno,

[ view all ]14 COMMENTS

Mar 13, 2008 - 04:21 PM PST

wakeupwriting

Haha, I did the same thing and had my dog wave to the video blog.

Mar 10, 2008 - 06:42 PM PST

dwhouse

Love the kitty...so cute!

Mar 08, 2008 - 10:19 PM PST

djahren

OH my GOSH Adorable kitty! that's sooo awesome...I am definitely a cat lover :)
Berlin is a cool name....I will have to see if I can get my cat to come and sit at the computer with me...she's not too fond of it in general....
well thanks for sharing ;)
Peace from Ahren

Mar 06, 2008 - 12:06 PM PST

JulieK

I think my dreams are usually things I'm trying to "work out" in my mind, subconsciously, like problems I'm trying to solve that are going on in my life ... and/or things I don't really allow myself to think about while I'm awake. If that makes any sense. Of course, it's all totally symbolic most of the time, so it can be hard to figure out. Ever try writing down what you remember of a dream immediately after you wake up from it? That can be really enlightening.

Mar 05, 2008 - 09:33 AM PST

djahren

I'll just leave it in text. So yeah...A trip to Cali eh? I love it there I hope you have a great time...I don't think weight is too much of an issue when skiing....but then again I really don't know that much about skiing. Congrats on the weight loss though and good luck with that in the future :)

Dreams........
I think each element in your dream reflects something that your subconscious is trying to tell you. Like for instance if your best friend was in your dream you can analyze it by asking yourself what does your best friend mean to you (companionship, loyalty, love, caring, what ever that may be for you) and then consider how they are in the dream. Are they really there for you? did they die? are they walking away? did you get in a fight? So instead of worrying what is going to go wrong with your relationship with them or something....think what that can mean...if they are walking away in the dream, is your sense of caring dwindling?) I hope that makes sense...it seems there is many ways to interpret dreams but whatever works for you. This is just my way that I have learned.
Best of wishes
peace from Ahren

Mar 05, 2008 - 09:22 AM PST

djahren

ok so last night i left you a nice video comment on this here video but it never uploaded i guess...just sat there for hours saying "your video is being saved" ha! yea right!
well maybe I shall try another time.

Mar 03, 2008 - 09:41 PM PST

dwhouse

AloneInACrowd

Hey thanks for the add and the comment...you seem like a cool person from your profile!

Mar 03, 2008 - 03:15 PM PST

NEWYORK

AloneInACrowd

HOW YOU DOIN???? YOU SHOUOLD COME THROUGH SOMETIME, IT SOUNDS LIKE WE GOT ALOT IN COMMON. WE FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT MOST THINGS. THE THING THAT REALLY STANDS OUT TO ME IS THE "ALONE IN A CROWD". SAME FEELING DAY AFTER DAY.... SAME DAY,EVERYDAY. NOTHING EVER CHANGES...... HOLLA AT ME WHENEVER -NEW YORK

Mar 01, 2008 - 04:26 AM PST

JshMjd87

So I think you and I have a ton in common. I think its awesome you can open up on here. Im trying to but baby steps. I mean its not like it would hurt me to. At the same time though I think it could and it keeps me from doing it. It really took me all day to post the short video on my site. i would tape it erase it back and forth like 50 times before i finally just clicked submit. Anyways thanks for opening up to me (^_^)

Feb 29, 2008 - 10:15 AM PST

Will2310

AloneInACrowd

hey, how are you doing?

A new community for artists and creative minds - and a new Internet series from Marshall Herskovitz and Edward Zwick, the creative minds behind "My So-Called Life" and "Blood Diamond."

[ view all ] Latest Writing

A Flow of Random Thoughts

Mar 02, 2008

It’s a beautiful day with the sun shining and the breeze blowing. A good song playing on my ipod makes it all worth it. I want to interact but at the same time watching from afar is irresistible, if only it were socially acceptable.

Do do do do do do do… the song plays and it makes me smile. Knowing I was there, a random moment in life that I’ll remember forever. Life can really take us so many places, and the what if’s are hard to imagine. What if I had of joined the team, what if I had never moved, what if I never met (insert name here), what if the girl who just sat down next to me had not worn that shirt… she should invest in a mirror. Life is funny that way. It twist and turns, its up and its down, like an old country road. Maybe that’s why I love to drive. Just get in the car and chase the sunset or try to get lost just so I can find my way back.

They say art imitates life, well maybe we are all just imitating life in a struggle to create art.
Why can a song always make you feel better? Lyricists have to be the most talented people in the world, not to mention their ability to put it all out there and connect to the human soul. The right words can send shivers up my spine.

So if a good song can change your life, then art can change the world.

[ view all ]My Unauthorized Biography

I sing but only in the shower, I dance but only in no one’s looking, I only wear socks when I’m not wearing shoes, I sleep with my roommates blanket because it’s better, I love to laugh, I love to love, I hate to cry and yet I do it more than the things I love, I don’t do caffeine and I still have more energy that all of my red bull chugging, coffee guzzling coworkers, I am a sucker for a good chick flick, I smoke way too many cigarettes, I am happy, I am sad, I am mostly confused, I talk to myself, except I call it thinking out loud, I love my parents, I miss my friends, I think football is God’s gift to mankind, I make stupid jokes, I love the sound is music, I adore the color is purple… and sometimes pink, I continue to relive the best moments of my life in my head instead of making new ones, I work for a cell phone company and I hate talking on my cell phone, I am addicted to text messaging, I have an itch that I just can’t get rid of… his name is Marcos, I feel AloneIn ACrowd