everything thats on my mind right now

Mar 21, 2008

do u ever feel like u dont belong? like u should just b on ur own planet? and isolated from everybody else? i mean nobody cares about me but maybe my whole 3 friends who r awesome dont get me wrong but i need more than that. like someone who understands me. like my grandpa whom i just really wish my grandpa was still alive... he died when i was 4 but he was my best friend, we took naps together, we played in the sand box together, he took me to watch trains go by, he tought me how to write.... he was my best friend... until that day he had a heart attack i was a happy normal kid...i can still remember that day he fell down in the kitchen...and i remember my grandma telling me in the hospital that the angels took him and he wasn't comming bak... and as im writting this i think i finally get y i am different... bcuz i lost the biggest part of me and nothing or nobody can ever replace that... and im crying as i write this so that just proves HOW so VERY VERY VERY much i miss him... and i think there is just something wrong with me cuz my dad left when i was like 2... and people wonder y im such a weird, different, durranged child... and on top of all that i've never had a boy friend... that just makes me feel like i REALLY dont belong here... or maybe im just too weird for anyone to even talk to... i mean my friends and i are like 2 of a kind but i guess everybody cant be like that.