i like how you write :)
it's a compelling story with all the twists you've put in there.. whatever i read made me want to read some more to see how things turned out. good stuff.

Love the photo. Would like to feature in new eZINE called Qstar in Pet catagory. Please contact. Your fan...BBL@Qstar

Thanks for your comment on my blog... its my first time writing it out publicly.
I mean, I keep this book, I guess you could call it a journal but its more like a log of my thoughts, every little detail that goes on in my mind.
I'm just so used to keeping all that within myself and only bringing it out on paper, I guess I just got tired of it.
So now, I'm writing it where everyone can see.
Its like in the movies where they find this long lost book of ancient secrets... that moment where they know in their hearts its too delicate to touch, so they blow the dust off instead...
Thats how I felt writing my first blog.
It may have been short, and it probably wont mean anything to anyone in the end, but it means so much to me.
I used to write, too you know...
I would start to write these really amazing stories, just like you described, through your characters mind, but its like it wasnt just a character... it was me.
anyways, well, I would start writing and my mind would flow and just spread out all over sheets and sheets of paper, and then as I'm writing I'de start to second guess myself. I'de get ideas of other paths I could take, other things I could have written instead.
And then all of a sudden I'm writing a whole different book, and it happens again to this new creation and again and again... you get the picture.
So I never ended up finishing any of my books!
I guess you think thats silly, considering you've written so much already, but thats just how my brain worked at the time.
but now, Im trying to just focus on myself, me as a person. What I want and need and how that connects with every living being in this world.
How we are all connected, in some way.
Who knows, maybe Im connected to you, too...
Hehe I guess we'll never know.

-Paige.

I cannot describe how it felt reading this...
Probably exactly how it felt for you to write it.
Its like i was living through your head.
I go over that exact feeling almost every day.
I wonder "What would happen if I stepped in front of that car?"
Or "What would happen if I just jumped off this bridge, what would it feel like when my body hits the water... would it hurt? Would it happen fast or would I feel immobilized in the air, like time has stopped and I'm floating."
And then I just sit there and think of the possibilities.
Just replay that image like a movie in my mind, making different decisions to change the ending, until I have the perfect picture.
Don't get me wrong, I am not in any way suicidal.
It would just be nice to feel that rush, that freedom.

- Paige.

hey whats up i like ur stuff its kewl so yeah
ttyl
$lizz$

That confused me a little, you thought of falling 3 times within 5 minutes, yet all three times were based around this girl who stood smiling at you the whole time. I would wonder if that girl really did like you if she was smiling as you fell. It was very interesting, and well written. I felt as though I were the one falling. I still have that feeling of being on one of those rides like the "Superman" where you are taken up about twelve stories and then you basically free fall down to the bottom, and then it takes you back up about 8 stories and thrusts you down again. I don't remember liking those rides, but it was probably because of what I ate before hand. I did very much like this story.

It was a little slow at first but it picked up. Actually I think it picked up about as fast as it would if I were in a drunken haze, which suits the story fine, doesn't it? It does leave me hanging. I'd love to know what that voicemail said. I'd love even more to know what it was he kept remembering right before he tried to drink it all away. Very nicely done though.

I don't think it really has an ending. There was no serious internal conflict that takes a while to work out before the main characters come around to the right decision. There was the abortion thing, which wasn't too bad. But it seemed too easy for her to decide to have an abortion. Even if you don't believe it kills a life, it does do a lot of physical and emotional damage to the woman's body, which takes more than a day or two to decide. The woman is never the same afterwards.

I did like the mental images used, and especially the video game speech at the end.

I've done that. In fact I'm in the middle of doing that. I've started several stories in which the main character was based around myself, and the story started as some event that actually happened or a question of what would happen if... The one I'm working on now is a what would happen if I woke up from a coma and couldn't remember anything? Which of course leads to the question of how I got in the coma in the first place, and who would help me remember who I was before. And then of course there's the how would I change at the end of it all? I've kept it between friends on MySpace, but I think that once it's finished I wouldn't mind sharing it elsewhere.

gotta agree that's a wow. suicide's an interesting thing to thing about...interesting only for the different reasons and thoughts behind it.