LOST in translation

Feb 27, 2008

Strange as it may seem: *I feel lately as if I have some how lost myself. *

STATEMENT OF THE CENTURY here. I don't know if it's from recent events, but most likely, probably not.

I think I've been "displaced" for a while. The sad truth is coming to the realization at this point of the game. I mean, I've blogged about the bits and pieces of my life and somehow managed to make them seem comical even when in all reality they really are serious matters. But the thing is, I still remain feeling like this empty person. and I don't know why that is. do you?

I would say I am a generally happy person-or I'm just good at acting it...

I have friends

I have people who love me dearly

and I love them.

I was pretty much satisfied with my "scholastic career" -for the most part there are some areas that still needed work. (why do I refer to it in the past tense, as if it were over-when it's really just begun?)

so what is it?

what am I missing that makes me feel like this hollowed person? -not that I expect to get some all inspiring comment that will change anything-its more of a rhetorical question(s).

As far as the NIU incident goes-honestly- I'm done with it. I mean I don't need the constant reminders. Yes, it is sad that the event happened-innocent people lost their lives. But there no reason to beat it senselessly into the ground and cause anymore emotional damage to the people of this campus.

What ever happened to privacy and respect? I mean yes, the public does have a right to know about these kind of situations. But when students come back for their first day of classes since a tragedy like that and reporters and cameras are harbored at every major point of campus it becomes a constant reminder about the event and extremely difficult to keep composure.

Granted, I know there are many who feel the opposite and they are entitled to feel that way.

and as far as having councilors in every classroom, monitoring our every action. I understand and know that they are there for guidance and help. But I am one who dislikes being put under a microscope-and yet I wanted to do something in the psychology field ha! I know that my actions change as soon as there is something new to my environment, so I only make myself look more suspicious-which is crappy because I only want to be left alone and process on my own. Not that I'm saying that I've been personally approached by one of them because of strange behavior or what not- I mean I've have been approached, and my dorm door knocked on (by countless people including my CA, other CAs, RA, police, and guidance councilors).

well, now that I've made myself sound completely nuts ...

The one thing I can't understand is how so many people seem so unaffected by the event. So many people that I've talked to say that this is a common event and are basically emotionless to the situation. I can not seem to possibly seem to understand how this can be. This event, that happened on feb. 14th the shooting-the murdering of innocent students for an unknown reason in Cole Hall.

How can that not effect a person? Especially when it directly effects everything around you-your entire world.

the excuse I heard from one: it happens all the time

So that just means we should just get used to it?

I cant say that I have a solution.

but I don't understand how our culture has become so desensitized and dehumanized.

emotionless and cold

As a culture I though we prided ourselves as being human.

But since events as Columbine-which basically triggered the minds of every mass school killing gunman out there (in my opinion), but the dehumanization has started way before that.

We have allowed ourselves to stop caring since the Vietnam war and it has gotten progressively worse.

Since when do you see mass protest of a war? THOUSANDS of people did not believe in what the Vietnam "war" stood for and protested profusely and yet many were forced to fight for its cause. Yet, how many people do you see protesting the war in Iraq? We all know there are more than thousands who do not agree with it. Yet when you see people who are out there with sign, the only thing we do is call them mindless hippies.

Although, I've never done anything either -go on and call me a hypocrite-at least I've thought about doing something.

What happened with our generations? What was lost in translation?

call me a hippie I don't care. I doesn't hurt. I have that right to voice my opinion. As well do you.

We as a generation have the ability to do something great. And yet we choose not to. We choose to stay mindless and stuck behind our computer screen. Alone. What so bad about being human, being compassionate, having emotions?

Is it that we all have the same fear: being rejected, hated, mistreated?

Those things in life let you know that you are still alive. That you can't help but be nothing more than human.

THANK YOU FOR READING. THIS HAS BEEN ANNOUNCEMENT PAID FOR BY STELLAR CORPORATIONS AND BROUGHT TO YOU BY STELLAR CORPORATIONS. THIS IS AN APPROVE MESSAGE FROM STACY is STELLER.