Update

Apr 25, 2008

Sooooo basically...I broke up with Andrew and have been seeing Mark. It was a very hard, very stressful break up and for a while I was very depressed from the guilt of the whole thing...but now I am very happy.
Andrew and I are trying to stay friends but it's hard because we still live together, and when he drinks he says very hurtful things and I can say anything back because I cheated on him and feel I deserve to get yelled at.
Mark is an amazing boyfriend. I didn't realize that I was being treated badly by my past boyfriends until him. He's shown me that I do deserve to be happy and makes me feel incredible. I feel like I was in this deep dark cave for so long and now I'm finally out in the sun. I feel light and fresh and I no longer feel compelled to drink all the time. I'm finally drinking for the right reasons (if there is such a thing). I no longer feel the need to escape.
Still no luck on getting a job which is a major blow to my ego, but being sad about it isn't going to get me a pay check. I'm trying really hard to be optimistic and keep looking but it gets hard at times, especially since it seems to be so much easier for other people. What is it abut me that screams "don't hire?"
But anyway, I'm, for the most part, happy, which is more than anyone could ask for I think. I've taken up yoga and started eating healthier, which is making a big difference. Also, I chopped my hair off since I am now a fierce, liberated woman Give me your bra and I'll burn it! It's about ear length and choppy and dark red. Looks AWESOME, if my camera weren't broken i'd post pictures.