Heart Broken

hello everyone...if you read my earlier blog...it mentioned nick, the boy who kinda left his girlfriend for me....well, now nick left his girlfriend (me) for my friend. You see, when nick was dating this girl last year, he has a crush on my friend genevieve. Now, this was before i knew him, so it was no big deal....i learned of his little crush early on in the relationship.....afterall, we talked about everything. My friend gen did a year abroad sort of thing with her family...she was in Austria this entire school year...she's coming home in two days.....but, i digress.

Nick decided last friday, July 27, our two-month anniversary, that he wasn't over gen....i believe his exact words were: "I feel like I pressed pause on her"....so therefore, he ended his relationship with me, whom he had SAID FIRST that he loved, because he wasn't sure he was over gen.....notice how he did this ONE FUCKING WEEK before she came home....i guess that he saw the deadline approaching and had to be a free man....the asshole.

as you can probably tell, i am very bitter. however. i called him about three days ago and said: "I hate the post-breakup awkward stage and I want it to be over with...I'm just over it, over everything, so let's just be friends." so now, i guess, we are "friends". we chatted earlier tonight while IM-ing....and talked about our lives.

another thing....this whole patched up friendship could completely fall apart once i see him and gen together, and him flirting with her.....because although i've told myself i'm OVER it, and i FEEL like i'm OVER it.....this is after being SO PISSED OFF I CAN HARDLY SEE STRAIGHT and also not having to SEE him...at all.

and you might think: OH, she can just avoid Gen and Nick together, right? WRONG. you see, Nick is the president of Model United Nations at my school....and I'm the Press Secretary (foolish me, i thought we would still be together and thought it was wonderful that we would be club officers together...silly silly fool) and GEN, is of course, although not an officer because she missed elections, a LARGE PART of Model United Nations. so look at us....we all get to be one big happy family, all year long....with me patching together my stil broken heart, that i keep telling myself is whole.

yippee.

read it and weep friends, read it and weep. anyone else wanna share their experiences with FIRST LOVE and the breakup afterward?

because right now it fucking sucks.

love to all,

Lily