Is It Worth It?

May 22, 2008

"Is It Worth It?" was asked of me from the world's grouchiest school janitor as I burned the 'midnight oil' by myself making props and sets for my first little elementary musical. I have been called an overachiever all of my life. I don't take that as a bad thing. I would rather be that than an underachiever or a mediocre achiever, or the dreaded 'status-quo'. That aside, I pour my heart into what I do, trying to create a deep authentic experience for my students, but sometimes I wonder too--Is it worth it? Is it worth getting lip from a bunch of hormone driven snotty 6th graders, or having to wrangle a group of doodle brain fifth graders? Is it worth arguing with parents over rehearsal times, and trying to get them to take pride in "just an elementary school production". I mean, the hours aren't that unreasonable, but in a teeny tiny school where sports rule, arts have taken the high road.

I'm young and still relatively new at teaching, but I am still full of my ideals to create a really amazing music program, a creative outlet for the students at this school. Every day I have to overcome negativity and the many brick walls that leap in my path, and yet I persevere with my purpose. It is going to be a fantastic production, but I can't say that I am not getting discouraged here.

Is it worth it? Is it worth my health and sanity? Am I just suffering from my over achiever status?

Randy Pausch said something in his "last lecture" that really stuck with me:

"The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough."

So true. So I wake up, expecting to hit my brick walls, but showing the world my integrity and truth.

Music makes a difference in our lives, and the creative and personal development of children. Maybe someday, someone might thank me but I don't need that for validity. I thank myself.