kirbyann
Views: 328
kirbyann
Female • 23 • Charlotte , NC • United States

Status... Taken
Orientation... Straight
I'm into... Writing Photography Music Acting Art Life Relationships Friendships
I'm working on... creating something beautiful and with substance.



Last on: 07/22/2008 PST 


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about me.


I just graduated college about 8 months ago and feel more lost then when I began. I feel like I've sold my soul to work a job that four people should be doing and I still have to work a second job to make ends meet. I guess that is the problem with our generation is we were too idealistic, we always were full of dreams. We never realized we would have to salvage our morality for a steady month paycheck and a crappy health plan. I mean, I remember when I use to have dreams, big dreams that my family admired because they never had any ambition of their own. When did I stop having time to dream. When did I become so consumed with life and bills and money that I forgot the things that matter and make me who I am. I feel like I have been living in this state of insomnia that doesn't allow me to dream, barely allows me to breath. It's exhausting. But I suppose thats the price we pay to grow up.

latest ugq upload.

The Beginning

Mar 02, 2008

My story is a simple one. I was born in Huntington, West Virginia to a truck driver and a dreamer. Of course their stories are far more interesting then mine, but the typical American dream happened: drug abuse, jail-time and divorce. My mother remarried a man who became the father I always wanted. The sad thing is I lost him before I realized it. He passed away January of '07. My father remarried as well, leaving me the middle of seven children [two girls and five boys]. We moved around A LOT when I was young, from Ohio to West Virginia to Kentucky, Florida, Tennessee for awhile. We finally landed in Lincolnton, North Carolina. I went to school, made good grades and was a model citizen while my brothers rebelled, and pushed limits. I never really got to have a rebellious stage. I graduated high school, went to college where I lost myself, and found it again only to lose it over and over again. I guess that's the big secret to "quarterlife". We are lost and when we find ourselves it's not the self we lost. I broke a lot of hearts. I'm not proud of it. I blame my shitty luck now on it as if karma really is a presence in the universe deciding how each turn you take will effect everything around you. I guess thats why I became so self-conscious and insecure. Suddenly when I was treated shitty by a friend or a guy it was my fault. I'm still working on that. I sold my soul for a salary job in a self-publishing company in Charlotte after graduation mainly for a guy who wasn't worth it. Now I'm stuck in a town I'm not fond of, in a job that's smothering me and my craft. I barely even write anymore. But that's about it. I'm pretty spectacular at making people believe there's something special and different about me when there's not. I'm also a craftsman at self-deprecation. Just a warning

The Beginning
03/02/08 19:25 PST
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