Bigger is NOT better.

Apr 10, 2008

I've always had problems with my weight. For as long as I can remember I have been the fat girl. In fourth grade when I was weighed for school purposes, I can remember the "room mom" telling me I was "100 pounds exactly! How exciting!!" Yea, a real thrill. Later that same year, my parents enrolled me in a class at the hospital called "Shape Down", which was offered to help overweight TEENS and their parents find their way to healthy lifestyles. I was 10. I was the youngest kid there by at least 4 years. From then on I knew that I my parents thought I was fat, and fat was unacceptable. So unacceptable so that when I was 12 my father bought the family a tredmill and said that the only way I was allowed to watch my favorite show (General Hospital!) was if I was on the tredmill for the entire time the show was on. After I refused to use the machine (because I was never doing it fast enough, or intense enough) my father became disgusted with me and on our family Christmas vacation to the Florida Keys, my dad got drunk and told me that I was worthless because I didn't use it. His exact words were "if you stay this way you'll become a slug- a worthless slug on the bottom of the ocean that no one loves, or even takes the time to look at." I remember everything about that night... because that was the night that I realized that my dad couldn't love me the way I was.

So I tried to change. My mom and I joined weight watchers.


To be conitinued...