A Response to a Genber Biased myspace post 4

Feb 27, 2008

• grab her butt when you kiss her. it's a real turn on.=)
Of course…this doesn't exactly work with your mother. I tried it once and we haven't spoken since…and now I get weird looks from the family at Christmas…

• Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything...
HAHAHA. That is hilarious. A woman on the phone (or off the phone, in bed, at work, at the grocery store… is physically unable to stay silent. That would be like telling a frat boy not to nail the drunk fat chick in his bed….just ain't gonna happen.

• When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go then kiss her=)
Until she flips out, starts screaming, and kicks you in the balls. Don't EVER give a woman an opening to kick you in the balls. They will take advantage of the weakness at every opportunity….which of course should be a crime punishable by death.

• When she says she's ok dont believe it talk with her=(
Fuck that. It is time that women start learning how to speak men. We have been required to try and learn to speak women for all of eternity, and I think it is finally there turn. It's bullshit that we need to learn that when a woman says a simple comment that to a man would mean one thing….they mean a completely different thing. Next time a women says "Ok" to me…I leave it at that and go on my merry way,

• DON'T LIE OR CHEAT ON HER
[SERIOUSLY FUCKING ASSHOLES LEARN THIS!]
But don't expect her to give you the same courtesy. The next time you forget to ask her how her day was or wish her a happy 36th day anniversary she will sleep with the nearest guy she can find and blame you for a lack of intimacy.

• remember her..because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Of course we will remember her….when we are jerking off.

• Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
If only to catch her banging the pizza delivery guy….

• Call her before you sleep and after you wake up=]
Does this phone call come before or after you masturbate before bed….and before or after you kick that skank you nailed out the door the next morning?

• Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Fuck that. Women need to have a little perspective…and that perspective is to realize that they aren't the center of the world. Not the center of my world, not the physical world…nothing. It's all a game of humility…and most women have none.

• Tease her and let her tease you back.=]]]
Don't ever. And I mean…EVER…tease a woman. It WILL not end well. She will take EVERYTHING you say and remember it, then throw it back in your face in a later argument to make you look bad in front of your friends, family, and peers.

• Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
That way you can get sick, and miss a few days of work…get fired…go broke…and then she dumps you because all women are materialistic whores who only want one thing. Money. All men may be whores who just want one thing…sex….but all sex costs is your dignity and self respect….and that comes much cheaper than cash.

• Watch her favorite movie with her.
This one is a classic from almost every one of these…and my answer continues to be the same. I will watch Steel Magnolias with her….just as soon as she watches Top Gun or Rocky with me.

• stick up for her even if you're friends don't like her
Bro's before hoes. A simple mantra learned in high school that remains as relevant at 35 as it did at 15. As a matter of fact, there is a female equivalent that goes "Chicks before Dicks" but we all know that is complete bullshit.

• Give her the world.
The one thing that all women strive to obtain…without working for it.

• Let her wear your clothes.
Something tells me she wouldn't feel all that sexy in a pair of holey tight whiteys with skidmarks…..

• When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
Misery loves company, and a sad women will take down as many people as she can on a quest for self pity.

• give her your jacket when she's cold
Don't give the bitch your coat. This teaches her foresight and forward thinking. Do not reward her for not taking the initiative and checking the weather forecasts before hand. If women REALLY are smarter then men...like they have been claiming for decades….shouldn't they realize that it might be a bit chilly in mid-December?

• Let her know she's important.
She already assumes she is….telling her so only reaffirms her delusion.

• Kiss her in the pouring rain.
I have already discussed this "spider man kiss" scenario in a past blog….look it up.

• When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
Most often the person who makes a woman cry is either her boyfriend….or another woman. So saying that puts a man in an awkward situation. He either would have to kick his own ass…..or kick the ass of a woman. It's really a lose/lose situation. Not to mention, most women claim to hate it when their men become violent….so its best to just ignore her crying and go watch the game.

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
•NOT Call you.
•NOT Kiss you.
•NOT Love you.
•NOT Text you.

Guys post as: "Only a tool would be this boyfriend."
girls post as : "A true boyfriend is nothing like this, but a gay man is"