Love in the Afternoon at Mickey D's

Dec 02, 2007 - 07:46 AM PST
As I get older, and because of my time in the age-weight-skin-size obsessed LA, I've found myself getting less and less looks by men who cross my path. Ironically, the construction workers, day laborers and homeless guy who whooped and hollered or whistled at me with my intense irritation in my 20s, have become some of my self esteem's best friends lately. With each sun spot on my milky Irish skin, or eye wrinkle that refuses to fade after I wake up, my vapid hope of being admired by strangers has almost vanished. After a while, acceptance has taken hold, and I can say, I'm aging and there's nothing I can really do about it (I really have no desire to look like scary mannequin-like Nicole Kidman- seriously, cut the botox by at least half, and stop pumping the lips!).

So, who would have thought that I'd find someone who thought I was beautiful; wearing mismatched jacket, scarf and gloves with no makeup, in all places-- McDonald's. I was coming back from a much-needed massage, and decided to treat my hubby to a naughty preservative-filled lunch, when Rodney, my admirer, approached me...kind of aggressively for that matter. This larger than life, in stature and mojo, Casanova took my gloved hands, looked me up and down and said, "You're beautiful." Having watching many episodes of "Punk'd" made me suspicious that this was some sort of planted hidden camera thing. Then I just kinda prayed it was, because this was just too weird for words.

Rodney took in my yoga pants and then told me I was "sexy too." He continued, "Come on now, you want me to be your chocolate man? You be my vanilla girl." Come again? Rodney kissed my gloved hand as I laughed uncomfortably. I thought, are you fucking kidding me? This is the guy that decides to find me beautiful? The huge black man with a blingy gold Jesus around his neck and a tad bit of crazy in his eyes? Suddenly, I got really sad. This is what it's all come down to. Rodney professing his lust in Mickey D's, when I realized all I really wanted was for my husband to look me up and down and ask me to be his...well he's Jewish, not black, so I guess it would be, his Matzo girl? Since we've moved here, things have been a bit disconnected in that area (sex and love), and there's a million excuses for it; stress, losing his mom, being busy, etc. But of none of those excuses really satisfies me deep down. The truth is, I really want to be lusted after, but not by random dudes or Rodney; but by my husband.

I got quiet, told Rodney I was married, and that I couldn't be his vanilla girl. He said, "Ain't nobody got to know," as his large gold Jesus necklace stared at me. I laughed and said, "Ah, but Jesus would know." Busted, he said, "I gotta hide this." Ha!

Love in the Afternoon at Mickey D's


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3 Comments

Dec 09, 2007 - 23:22 PM

Brunkster on
Ha, great story!
Dec 03, 2007 - 18:52 PM

Jake on
There shouldn't be a question mark at the end of that last statement.
Dec 03, 2007 - 18:51 PM

Jake on
What kind of yoga do you do? I'm a Bikram addict myself?