Frack it! I'm talking about my job

Nov 16, 2007 - 11:00 AM PST
Three months and a day ago I started my job. Frankly I was anything but sure to take it but I did. And I was pleasently surprised, I loved it.
There's a three month "probation" period before it gets to be a permanent gig and yesterday my boss and I had "the talk".

Short story: They've put me in probation for another month.

Long story: "Some people" think I'm to serious, a little aloof and dry. No one complained about my job per se, no one actually said I was rude or hard to work with. Actually, all agreed I had made really big improvements, I listen and learn and don't make a mistake twice.
But I'm not warm and fussy so I'm screwed.

I keep it together pretty well all day, my boss left and I was cool as a cucumber, but then, when a coworker asked me, I just started crying. It took my three months to cry at work, that's something, right? Right?

The thing is, why should I be welcoming? It's a job, and my work is pretty good. There are no complaints in that as?pect so? Is it right for them to judge me from my personality? Please notice no one said I was rude, because I'm not, I'm miss perfect manners when I work.

So? I was up till three a.m. thinking, is it because I'm a girl? And girls need to be nice? Should I really be pleasant and nice and warm and all that?

What really got me was that I was happy there, I felt maybe I'd finally found my thing, you know? a middle between my dream and my obligations. And they took that away from me.

Now I'm back to the drawing board, figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.

Frack it! I'm talking about my job


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3 Comments

Jan 13, 2008 - 15:33 PM

JoslinLynn on
I so agree with everything you just said,and trust me i completly understand. I work at one of those companies that gives you the "you need to focus on your communication, or you're just not approchable" speeches. What ever happened to just coming to work and getting commended for doing a good job. It seems like today you have to smooze and walk around on cloud nine with a grin ear to ear to even get a raise. you can't just be great at the task assigned you have to be so much more. If feel for you and I'm right there with you.
Dec 23, 2007 - 17:18 PM

gaalonso2 on
thanks for posting this blog. you've described the plight of the vast majority of twenty-somethings out there trying to make their way in this world. i know exactly what you are going through . . .

keep thinking and you'll come up with something.
Nov 24, 2007 - 08:26 AM

MissBorg on
hi. you got through to me. i wish i could answer you because it would mean i understood something about something, but the thing is, i'm just as lost as you are...

so, the only thing left to say is ... thanks for having made me FEEL :)