untitled poem 2

Apr 03, 2008 - 15:00 PM PST
let’s fall back
and kiss in gray tones
i’ll be your paper doll
but baby
the pink is sweeter

paint me parted
waist up
lips only sweetheart
hands behind my back
eyes closed

it’s a long way honey
and i forgot my bones
pin me up proper
preterit lover
i can’t stand for this dance

you’re a million
crazy beautiful coquette lies
protecting the virtue
of dress up
mannequin logic - smd

untitled poem 2

Channel Writing | Views | 2 Comments
     

2 Comments

Apr 09, 2008 - 07:20 AM

jle on
Mannequin logic.. I really like this.
Apr 04, 2008 - 06:21 AM

Franchise on
This poem has got it all man. Personification - a mannequin longing for human qualities..."the pink is sweeter";
nice alliteration..."paint me parted"; imagery is just outstanding..."and I forgot my bones pin me up proper (more alliteration)". This reminds me of that 80's movie where a department store clerk falls in love with a mannequin because she was under an Egyptian curse or something and came alive at night. Anyways bro, great job in this piece.