oh boy.

Jan 14, 2008 - 00:01 AM PST
as I was walking downtown today, i noticed a young mother completely ignoring her crying daughter.
I noticed a young man teasing a begger about his clothes when he didnt look any better himself.
I saw some asshole on a cell phone run a red light..on a mid-day busy intersection.
Overheard two young women (im being extremely nice here) barely dressed arguing about relationships gone wrong because of unserious partners.
and finally...a funeral.
Now...I've been fascinated with society for quite some time and how people go about every day. I know that occurences such as these ones go completely unoticed most of the time. I can only come to one conclusion for this; We are a bunch of droids. Literally. Exanimate organisms that do not flinch unless something or someone directly imposes. We live in bubbles; we all have this in common. I am of no exception and I find myself wondering (worrying to be truthful), is this what really happens to us as we get older?

Maybe this mother is having an off day..does she not realize that continuing to take it out on her daughter the way she did doesn't help her situation and hinders the child's ability to deal with her own distress? clearly she wasnt that small of a child, she was about 13-14..old enough to start understanding her emotions.. it couldnt have been just whining..had she insulted her? what would she do with her when they got home?! how long has this been going on? it wasnt like she had a tantrum either...this child was crying out of hurt. in a way only daughters do when hurtful things were said, I recognise it better than even I know. She cried in silence...hiding her tears..unoticed by her mother and by everyone else.
and what about this man?! this BOY..hes unworthy of being called anything more proper. How low..do you have to be? how INSECURE and broken are you to make fun of some homeless persons clothes? are you..fucking..serious?! one of the most brilliant persons i know once told me that there are two kinds of people in this world; those who are insecure and learn to live with it and those who are but try desperately to prove themselves wrong so they DONT have to live with it. He also believes that at the end of the day we are all the same. I thought of him today. He could not be more right. We have the one universal need. and so..does this accumulation of tissue and fluid not see how similar he and that homeless man are? it was a few comments...said as he was passing by...nothing to write home about but i would bet those words hurt more to that man than not getting any change from the passer-by.

I dont even know where to begin with the two....young..ladies. I struggle to say this properly because I, who have probably deserved the title by now, dont hear it that often. To see that they dont understand why we wont take them seriously is my real worry. I never asked for trouble with relationships and yet it always came my way. I never took anyone for granted and so it was me they used. I gave my full attention and attachment and was ignored emotionally. not once physically, which is what i wouldve much rather prefered, but constantly emotionally neglected. I dont want to make myself sound like a victim, thats not the point here. Im expressing my angst towards these individuals... well..because they make my efforts a joke..they make my being, all that I am..a joke. If you know nothing of me before reading this blog, you have an entirely deviated image of what I am. I am ranting, if you will, because they make me feel this way and not out of self-glorification. The last thing I look forward to is being angry. Out of everything I witnessed today..these two ladies bothered me the most. I dont know if its because I am in a particularly remembering mood or it genuinely bothers me because I am still hurt. Because they don't see that they are asking for what they get and that most often those who don't..get it anyways. I think it could easily be both. All i know is..you dont mess with the heart. especially not when it means something more than pumps and spray-tan. As simply said as that. The physical comes and goes. We are so ungrateful of our health we dont see it is taken away in an instant. As faith would have it..I noticed the funeral to my right...and the SUV running the red light on that very corner simultaneously. If I didnt know any better, it would feel like the driver was almost laughing in the faces of the parteds family members. I dont even have to explain this one. you could do the math here.
I am thankful though, i must say. I am thankful I saw all this today.

As endless as my hope may be, sometimes its good to witness these moments of greed. It kind of snaps me back to reality. There really are only three essential things in this world. The soul, the mind, the body. They do not work without one another. When the mind is sick, the body often follows. When the soul is malnourished, the mind is as well and then the body. When the mind and soul is cared for through the love of someone, the body longs for touch.

Being the remarkable creatures we are, we STILL try to function without one or the other. ahahahah I think I laugh to keep from crying. This is a concept that will continue to baffle me. I will never understand why we oppose ourselves and others so persistently when we all end up in the same place at the end of the day.

needing the love of family in the way that will look beyond the expectations of others, in turn loving you for who you are.
the love of self which will therefore enable you to love someone else.
the love of someone who sees through mini skirts and concealer, to appreciate the inner beauty and soul, mind and body that makes up who you really are behind the esthetics.
and the love of everyone else who hopefully appreciated all that you did before you pass.

Love. very simply.

oh boy.


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2 Comments

Mar 07, 2008 - 08:03 AM

ghost4388 on
nice analysis on what really happens in this world! you never fail to make me enjoy and contemplate on what you write! And the comment abot the mind body and soul is so true.
Jan 17, 2008 - 19:54 PM

Leviathon on
simply: we are broken and flawed. sad, isnt it? i really like this blog. your mind is alert. ^ ^