Jun 08, 2008
I am a people-watcher. I love nothing more than laying in the cool grass of central park and watching people as the go on with their lives.
Every little gesture, I see. Every little glance, I feel their thoughts. It is the passion and peace in the eyes of the lovers, it is the wrinkling of the nose, eyes and mouths of the friends catching up with one another, it is the larger than life hand gestures of people yelling on their cell phones, and it is the glint of hope in the eye of the people walking alone, looking for their answer
This is my curse and this is my gift.
and, beyond the stone walls of my floral safe haven, such a gift is crushing.
People do not live the way they feel.
It is that fear of rejection that controls our minds and our hearts. When you like someone but are too afraid to tell them. When they like you but you are too afraid of being hurt.
The crushing look of love longing in a person's eye is unmistakable and known to break hearts.
When you are afraid of something, there is no mistaking. You can lie to yourself and everyone around you. Put on a brave face and tell the world "it just wasn't meant to be!"
The same sad line that millions of people, including myself, tell themselves after every defeat.
OR
You can take control of your life and do something about it. For the first time in your life you can be brave and acknowledge it's something you want more than anything else. You can wear your heart on your sleeve and live by what you feel.
Just do not be surprised when you are left in the dark with nothing but a memory of that glance.
This I can tell you, I am an intense perfectionist who finds beauty in the imperfections of life. When I draw, I loose myself and erase anything and everything from my mind. Its just me Death Cab and the paper. I sing to express myself and feel real emotion that people have forgotten exists deep within. I really dabbel in all arts considered, how i ended in fashion is beyond me. My one steady passion is my work raising genocide and human rights awareness which started in the 3rd grade.
I guess you could say im an eclectic person, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Cause you have to be ready for whatever life throws at you.