5:30 am

Jun 06, 2008

It's that time of the month. Therefore I cannot sleep. Yet everything is so clear. I have to make the most of Bellingham. I should be a Junior in college. At one point I would have without a doubt been an All-American Scholarship winner. I'm going to be sexy without having sex and then once I've taken care of everything watch out Bellingham. Too bad the cute boy population is going to be seriously lowered by summertime. I kind of want to have sex with Mike just to have sex. I kind of want to kick ass in my field. I'm kind of crossing my fingers that I won't wake up vomiting on Sunday. It's really very simple. I do what I should do when I should do it so that I can do what I want to do when I want it. Which means I need to be on tomorrow every second except when celebrating Dan! I don't have to lose my personality to do my job I need to learn to use it. I'm going to talk to the people that I have to talk to. Call some service calls. Send apology letters to those I wronged. Contact all of my old customers to show off some cookware. Get passionate about my goals. My teachers, my neighbors, my friends, my parents friends all know who I am. They should help me be her. Miss Above Average. I'm going graduate with a degree in the only thing that seems important enough to me to spend four years on and study other things on the side. If I would just get my shit together I could study Leadership and Professional Development at WASU, learn all the languages I want to learn, become a teacher or at least get a TOEFL certificate, study Fashion Marketing, and go to Goucher. I can go to Prague this Christmas and live on my own in Bellingham. I can have my kitten and my clothes and shoes. I can be a DM and whatever I want. A writer even. Coffee and energy drinks are the answer to the worlds problems. Water and Yoga are good too but I have to get up tomorrow and be me minus the crazy so good night. Peace and Love, Rachel