Riff: The return to the masticating universe

Jun 03, 2008

This is my collabratory post that I was inspired by Wordlings The Masticating Universe

The witches who protected the deep space spells grew lazy. They were no longer concerned with a world of hypotheticals. “What if the spells wear off?” “What if the aliens find us?” To them, it became the same as “what if yellow and green revolted against the far more popular red and blue?” They lost interest. They lost tradition. It all meant nothing.

And for a time, that’s all that happened. Nothing. But eventually the gluttony of the alien race spread. Their mandibles the size of mammoth tusks, they devoured so much from our planet. But not us, like we had thought. They consumed. Oh how they consumed… They ate our fast food. They ate our junk food. They drank our beer and our wine. They ate every delicious morsel they could find, but they didn’t eat us. Feeding us barely any table scraps of what was left. They took all the “name brand” foods, and left us with the generic rip offs. How cruel!

We didn’t try to oppose them. We realized the futility the moment they landed. At least we think it was futility. It could have just as easily been laziness. Playing out the hypotheticals in our minds “What if they’re nice?” “what if they give us presents for working so hard for them?” “what if they do a better job of running our lives than we do?”

Things haven’t changed that much. The biggest difference is now at the end of Seinfeld re-runs we all have to say “Hail Quarzik the great! Funnier than the Seinfeld demon!”