May 10, 2008
im writing this because i just was reading blogs from teganandsara.com, in fact im listening their newest album right now, "the con"... so here goes nothing (in the blog its like 5 things i take the blame for but id thought id do something a little different)...
1. i am guilty of being a bad friend.. lately my buddys been argueing and ive failed to cooperate with anyone becuse im angry that they are fighting in the first place. its been with two guys that i am very close with.. augie and ryan.. they are fighting because apprently ryan posted a coment on my myspace that was kinda controversial.. it talk about stomping a womans face in.. he didnt really mean he was gonna stomp a womans face in... its a inside joke.. which i am not gonna bore you with the details but it goes something like a stripper fell on him and chipped his teeth.. i dunno how that happend.. i was in a drunken haze at the moment but it was funny.. lol... anyways augie saw the comment and posted one himself.. that made ryan mad and now their arguing... lame i know but what can i do...
2. i am guilty of being a leech... my friends usually pay for a lot of stuff...seeing that im on welfare i dont have lots of money... i usually ask them to do stuff without money like going to the beach or just playing video games or something but that never works... i always feel like shit cuz i dont have money to do anything...
3. i am guilty of trying to be something that i know i cant be... im obsessed with living a punk lifestyle... i had a taste before when i was just getting sick but the anger and desperation has faded... i dunno whats wrong with me but the things that i used to get angry about( people being dicks and family being too nosey) i dont get angry about it anymore... ive come a long way from being homeless and fighting to survive to living in a home with my familia... i think im just growing up... and thats what scares me.. another day closer to death..
4. i am guilty of being a slob.. my room is messy.. i mean messy... you know what they say messy places are breeding grounds for bad spirits and negative vibes.... come to think about it i wanna clean my room right now... lol..
5. i am guilty of being jealous of my friends.. maybe its just im not comforable in my own skin yet but if i wasnt sick id be out of school... with a bachelors in something and haveing to work for a living... right now im still in school, just barely passsing, and wondering when is it gonna end.. but yeah im jealous of my friends...
so there you have it my top five... lol.. thanks for reading but i know no one is....