obviously I have no idea where you have come from and the things you have gone thru so I'm not much help with dealing with abuse and everything.. but like i said before about relationships.. there are guys out there that love God and will treat you the way God intended for a guy to treat a lady... just don't give in to a a so-so guy.. skip over those and go for the BEST! and if thats your hearts desire is to the best guy out there.. God will give you it!
When it comes to what you believe.. if you know the truth you know what your morals are and everything. Its right in the Word.. I've been there.. and I'm going thru it right now. we're human.. we fail sometimes at faith.. but when you know what God did for you.. you know whats right and settling isn't one of them. I'll be praying for you.. I'll be praying that God gives you the strength that you need and the gives you the things you need to read from His Word to keep you going....