A Writer's Rediscovery

Mar 30, 2008 - 11:22 AM PST

I am a writer, or at least I thought I was. My interest in writing began the summer after 2nd grade, when I completed a collection of poetry about the 12 months of the year - great stuff! Since then, I've enjoyed writing poems and short stories. In 6th grade, I became intersted in journalism and intended to change the world with my words, only to change my mind in my second year of journalism school. (FYI - this had A LOT to do with falling in love - it totally muddled my thinking and changed me into a completely different, less-passionate person, as well as a non-writer.)

Anyway...I completed my master's degree in May 2005, but I haven't written since, not even in a journal, and I LOVE journals! (I stopped journaling right around the time that I met the ex - go figure!) I've actually been afraid to write, and I don't know why. I do a lot of "writing" in my head, and some of it is great stuff, but I fail to get the words down on paper.

On one episode of "quarterlife," Lisa was asked if she was afraid to be good or afraid to be bad at singing, and I think the same question presents itself for me. I think I am afraid to be good - so good that I'll start beating myself up for the choices I made in my life, like how could I be so stupid to leave journalism in the first place? Right now I have a fairly stable job in marketing. Would it even be worth it for me to find a writing job? How could I ever survive on a writer's salary? I have a son to support, and kids aren't cheap!

There are a ton of "if onlys" I could list, but I won't. I realize I must just make the best of my situation and somehow reincorporate writing into my life. I have started journaling a little bit, but that is not satisfying enough. I am a writer - it's in my blood. I just need to find the perfect outlet for my writing abilities. Any suggestions???