Help is never around when you really need it

Feb 15, 2008 - 09:23 AM PST

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The sky outside is grey....It has a feeling of gloom that seems to engulf the entire campus.No one is outside. Its as if everyone is sleeping..No movement or action of any sort....Its as if the earth is sympathising with me . As if it knows what i am feeling right now that it does not want me to go through this alone. Sometimes, i feel like i need a psychologist or therapy or something. I feel like there is no one i can talk to about this. No one to help me sort out the webs that are forming in my head. Makes me realize the few people that i actually have to talk to. I may be wrongly saying this, maybe i do have people to talk to about what is bothering me, i just choose not to tell them. Auhhhg. I hate what i am feeling. I hate that this is going on with me right now. People dont just come and go and then still tell you they love you right? I mean, there has to be something morally wrong with that statement. Even thou they tell you after all this time, they still think about you and have kept every letter, every little thing you gave them and how much they cherish it...Am i missing something? I dont know what to believe...The only thing i know, is that, i just want to make peace with that person, so i dont have that emotional baggage to carry in my heart for ever....to carry it inside me, its to always keep it alive, i just want to confront it and heal and cry and then put it away and not have that in my heart like a prick you get on your thumb or something............................

If there is anyone, i mean anyone, reading this, please give me some feedback. I know that i am supposed to figure this out on my own...Thats what responsible adults do. But i cant. I cannot figure it out. I dont have the awnser to my problem and i really need someone to guide me atleast in the right direction. auh. My head is spinning....maybe i'll eat some chocolate or buy me breakfast...when in doubt...i will eat .

oh the webs we mortals weeve...........