hopeless

Feb 23, 2008 - 05:07 AM PST

You try and try but nothing becomes any more obvious to you.

the world spins but you feel like your standing still.

after everything you say you still cant get a point across to someone you care about

... Why do we do this to ourselves? we look for a nettle in a hay stack only to get hurt by it once we find it. i guess im just a little bitter right now with the stupid commercial holiday of valentines day around the corner and having my first time in 5 years not having it to share with anyone. most people get around this by just belittling the day and all its nonsense but for me i had a reason to celebrate it. its also the first holiday that is to be celebrated of the year and if you read my other blog on my track record of holidays from last year you can see how this would put me off at a bad start for this year. if anything is to be said its that i miss being a couple. i miss taking care of someone. i know i work better as a couple. hell my last relationship was 5 years and it was steady till its abrupt end. i think i got the shaft out of that. although i don't regret breaking up with my ex i wish to have someone around who is happy to be around me and im happy to be around then. i think that this is gonna start looking pretty endless for me also due to the fact that the women that are interested in me im not interested in because of there attitudes of how they present them self. i know that im outspoken at times but i also know that if it was too much on an extreme that people would either tell me or just not associate with me. and going back to interest i am interested in a few people.. one in particular who i have gotten to know very well. but heres the problem with women that i seem to be attracted to. they all seem to either not want a boyfriend, feel untrusting or hung up over there previous relationship, or there a Lesbian.. that ones a long story and maybe i can tell you later. but anyways the point to all this is that if you read the i am kinda asking for help. i dont think anyone will but at this point what the hell. i mean i cant get any worse that how i feel right now and it just be nice to have someone who makes me happy... here's hoping...