How To Be The Perfect Date

Feb 20, 2008 - 09:34 AM PST

They say you only have one chance to make a first impression. It’s painfully true, and if you’ve ever been on a date where you completely blew it, you know how devastating this can be. You want to take it back and do it over again, but your date won’t return your call. Dating should be fun, not a chore. Remember, this is not a test or a performance. Keep your focus on the other person and that will help you with your first date nerves. Most singles make the mistake of attempting to entertain or show off. No one is interesting if they are just listing the things they like to do or reciting their resume.
Keep your expectations realistic. Be open, honest, light and easy to be with. After all, it’s just a date!

Ladies:

#1 Dress the part. This means -- be sexy, not raunchy. You can still look classic. Everyone wears jeans these days. Be different and stand out! Yes, guys will always look at the girl showing the most flesh. However, that’s just what they look at, not what they want in a girlfriend. There’s a difference, ladies! Men like women with effortless style. This means, go easy on the make up and overdoing the ‘do’. Be natural. Let your beauty shine through.

#2. Interested is interesting. You can find out a great deal about a man by observation. Stay away from the stereotypical 20 questions. Don’t interrogate him! This is not the time to ask if he is ready for a serious relationship or marriage.

#3. Let him be the man. Allow him to choose the restaurant, the table and the wine or whatever plan he comes up with.
Leave your power girl at home and let him take the lead!

#4. Zip it! Most men complain that women talk too much on dates. Enough with the mindless chatter! You are not more interesting simply because you have a lot to say. It’s quite the opposite. Dating is not the Miss Congeniality contest.

#6. Is he ‘the one’? It’s just dinner! Enjoy yourself and be in the moment. Stop worrying about the future. How would you possibly know after a 90-minute date? Think of each date as an opportunity to get to know someone new without any agenda. Romance should be the surprise, not the expectation.


Men:

#1. Make it an event. Don’t just drag yourself to the date from work. Put some effort into what you are wearing. Women tell me all the time that a man in a suit makes a huge splash. Just forget the tie. If that’s too much for you, you still need to put some thought into what you’re wearing and how you’re presenting yourself. Your efforts will be noticed!

#2. Be inquisitive. Remember, women love to talk, especially about their favorite subject: themselves. I hear endless complaints that men talk way too much about themselves and their achievements. Stop fluffing your feathers and get interested in her. Ask her about her family, what she is passionate about and the places she has traveled. Stay away from questions about her ex though!

#3. Have a plan. Girls and women alike want YOU to come up with the date. This means at least the very first 3 or 4 dates. Even if you think you’re being nice, don’t ask her what she wants to do and don’t give her 5 options for the evening. This is your time to court her and show her you are a man. Women love this, I promise. Choose the wine, the table and above all: walk her to her car. Paying for her valet scores major points.
Even if the date goes completely wrong, you still need to be a gentleman. Girls talk and word travels fast!

#4. Compliment her. Her eyes, her dress, her laugh, whatever you see that you like. Don’t make it up; just be vocal with what you do notice. Remember, women fall in love with men that adore them. Don’t try to pretend that you aren’t interested because you think it make you look cool. It will backfire.
Only immature girls and the one’s you don’t want like the guy that treats them indifferently.

#5. Don’t spill your candy in the lobby. This is not the time to let her know what a sensitive guy you are. Don’t talk about tragic events in your life or how you never got over your mother’s abuse or your father’s overbearing and neglectful ways. Women like sensitivity in men, just not on a first date!

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