HUH

Mar 24, 2008 - 19:27 PM PST

So maybe I am over thinking this a little but maybe not. My ex and I broke up about a year ago and since he is getting married to this girl who wants to be my best friend. Which that is something in itself. I have never really wanted him back but it was fun to have him while she thought that he was hers and hers alone but really. I did not feel bad when she answered his phone for the first time and I told her everything that had happened but she of course did not belive me. Because at this time she thought that I was the most horrible person in the world and she was right. He was the one who would call me and ask me o go out with him to hang out but it always turned into me staying the night and him telling me that he still loved me but did not love me. It was a strange thing. He was forced into rehab by her and since has not spoken to me at all. I think that since I cheated on my guy with the ex that I know that I have lost this current guy for it. But since he knows already and has already stopped seeing me then what is my current point. Am I just jealous of my ex and everything he has or Am I really thinking that I may die alone and a horrible person for the things that I have done to others. On one note I told her that he had cheated on her but she dtill does not believe me for whatever that is worth. But then again I was the second half of that two some. I can not believe I am saying this but I really do miss my ex.