I could fornicate for hours...

Apr 09, 2008 - 08:07 AM PST

I could fornicate for hours
Amongst the trees and flowers
If they’d let me off my chain.
I’d enact so many dramas
In my perfect pink pyjamas
In the sunshine or the rain

I would fertilize the maidens,
All from here to Copenhagen
With my wildly rutting loins

You could count on every hussy,
Every trollop tramp and pussy
To remember me and faint.
And the single girls so dear to me
Would let no others near to me
They would cling to me like paint.

I would tickle every fancy
Be she Chloe, Jayne or Nancy
And would never spend a coin.

All their mothers they would love me,
Would caress and turtle dove me
And invite me round to tea.

While their daughters soft and pliant
Would proclaim me such a giant
With a member legendary.
And the fathers they would plainly say
You should really come on Saturday
“Well, I shall do if I must.”

(Largo)
Ah but as I lie here dreaming,
Fantasizing on the ceiling,
Well the chains they’re rubbing so

And as the bed to which they’ve strapped me
Is equipped with strong elastic
It’s a little touch and go.
Well perhaps I’ll have to stay here
While the rest cavort and play dear
It is really such a shame.

But I tell you what, my darlings,
If you flock around like starling
They might not see me escape....