i dunno...

Mar 14, 2008 - 21:17 PM PST

if you have read my other writing called my lover, my friend ... i hope you will understand what the ocean does to me... it brings my happyness when i least expect and bring me dispare when i need hope.... but she teaches me many things... when i was young my family used to go to the ranch that is right on the cusp of the ocean .. i mean the shoreline is right below the fence of the ranch... it was and still is a special place to me.. it represents happyness from a time of innocence and undoubted youth.... as i grew up i learned to respect its gentle tides lapping the shoreline...but now since i havent gone for 4 years ive learned to fear it... i think i have a pathological fear for it ... her depth and mystery...so now i got this question... how much longer does she have to wait till i confront her? will she call my bluff?... will she let me into her womb? i have no idea.. you may call me a walking contradiction for saying what i did in my other blog but until you have learned to love and fear her at the same time, you wont understand...