I NEED NEW FRIENDS AND A WHOLE LOT MORE

Feb 03, 2008 - 20:55 PM PST

So the last few days, I've started to realize my friends aren't exactly the best people, actually, I don't think I can call them my friends anymore. One guy, I've known for 17 years, so since I was 2. The only way to describe it, was he was my best friend, was being the key word. The other day he told me he didn't want to hang out with me because his new friends didn't like me. I must be standoffish or something, maybe i just don't have the greatest personality in the world, but most people don't know anyone for 17 years, it's rare, and I felt like he should have stuck up for me instead of treading on my face. Same guy told me he wondered when I was going to stop wasting my life trying to get a hockey scholarship and go to school. Plain and simple, I'm done with hockey, but I didn't view it as a waste, I viewed it as a way to prepare myself for life. Last time I checked, the person that told me this only aspired to fuck as many girls as he possibly could in college, some guy right. It's amazing how people change, or don't change. I had another friend, who's now about 22, and he's incredibly emotionally immature. Tonight was the first time, since moving back to Colorado, that I'd seen him, and it was incredible how childish he acted. He had to antagonize our server and belittle his personality. God bless the poor kid that was dealing with us. He had about 12 tables, and did everything he could to keep up with everybody. Simple fact of the matter, he was just trying to make it, like the rest of us, he didn't need anymore crap to deal with, when his plate was so full already. I was disgusted with my friend for his behavior, and wished he would grow up. It's incredible how insensitive people can be, and it surprised me that he had to act similarly to me tonight. He told me hockey was a man's sport, and I shouldn't quit, even if my knees hurt. I told him I was just into cycling now, and he responded by saying it was a woman's sport. First off, men don't give women enough credit, we've all heard, if men were stronger than women, then men would give birth instead, and I for one believe that. Women are very strong people, and to cut down anything by making reference to women being weak, is just wrong. Second of all, cycling, though not as violent as hockey, is far more physically and emotionally taxing, and the best cyclists in the world, in my mind, are the fittest people in the world. Why do people have to attack who I am, when they are supposed to be there for me, why can't I find anybody, who can just be descent to me. I don't believe I act poorly to anyone. Sure, I make mistakes, and hurt people on accident, it's a human thing, you can't please everyone, but I don't actively try to hurt people. This just sucks, and I want a girlfriend sooooooooo badly. I know this doesn't fit with anything I've said, but I really want someone to share my time with, to share my life with.