I Want You To Be Happy

Jun 02, 2008 - 09:52 AM PST

Love is an interesting concept in our society. We look outside ourselves for someone to fill a void - fill us up - complete us, yet is this really love? Every night i read to my daughter "guess how much i love you". It’s a cute story about two bunnies sharing how much they love one another. But I wonder how much we do love one another and ourselves. When I chose to leave my husband it was because i knew his love was not authentic and although i had no "proof" at the time, my heart knew that he wanted me to be different and to abide by his own "beliefs" about what a mom/wife was. There were times he would say, " I just want you to be happy" that my heart would so want to believe him. Which brings me to this blog -
what if happiness for others is not what WE want?

What if my daughter does things that may not be what I WOULD want her to do? Even though it brings her joy, who am I to say that SHE CAN’T or that my love will somehow GO AWAY because it is not what I believe/agree in. When my ex said this, deep down I wanted it to be true. I wanted him to really mean this and now I see that he cannot because he has never BEEN or ACCEPTED love.
When I say I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY, I mean it, even if it means you are not with me or move somewhere else or never communicate with me.

I still want happiness for those I love.
The practice of detachment is fascinating in a society that loves control or the illusion that control equates to power and love.
When I look at my daughter I realize that she is a direct mirror to authentic love.
That she will continue to live HER life and come up with her own conclusions about her dad, life, relationships and truth and that happiness is a choice that starts with self love. It is not something that can be taken away when someone does things that "we do not like" I am happy. I am a content with my choice to move forward with my life and choose authentic love towards myself.
I understand now that my joy is being a mom, woman, entrepreneur and human being that stands for authentic love.
When I say I love someone i mean no matter WHAT I love them,
even when my ex throws negativity at me and is trying to beat me down and punish me. Even if he hated me forever I still want him to be happy. That is love. Love is not about taking away - love is who we are. Sounds crazy I suppose to say Ii want my ex to be happy during a divorce that is full of HATE from his side, but I do.

When I married him this is what i stated and nothing can change this.
I want my daughter to be happy- to make choices towards her own fulfillment not towards my expectations of her.
Iwant me to be happy- to continue to play ...laugh..and be free.
and on a deep level-
I thank my ex for reminding me that the only person who can set me free to choose happiness is me.


Discuss this article on our forums