I'm Afraid of Myself

Feb 25, 2008 - 08:35 AM PST

I've always disliked that blonde character [so much so, that I didn't even bother to remember her name]. It's funny though, that the reasons I didn't like her were the same as those which make me hate myself. I hate that I'm not beautiful. Maybe I am to some on the outside, but I feel like there's nothing else. I feel like a little girl hiding out in a grown woman's body, and I'm hurting. I wonder why I can't find some passion that would just take hold of me. I have fleeting interests, but there isn't one thing that makes me any more special than anyone else. And I wonder how I expect anyone to ever truly see the beauty in me if I don't even really know myself. I've been hiding in the amalgam of who I'm supposed to be for so long, I honestly don't even know who I really am.