I'm Afraid of Myself...Continued

Feb 25, 2008 - 17:11 PM PST

What's worse is that I miss my best friend. I miss having someone see something in me that even I didn't get. Or maybe it was never there. Maybe that's why he's gone. My secret's out. I'm not a rock star. And if I'm not, then life is meaningless. Because in the grand scheme of things, who will ever remember me if life is just another acquisition? Get a job. Get a new couch. Get a new apt. Get a boyfriend. In the end it all doesn't matter because I'm just going through the motions that millions have gone through before me. I just fade. If life has no special meaning, what's the point of getting out of bed in the morning? When I'm weathering the storm, when I'm dealing with the constant disappointments and compromises, where are my little in-betweens? I guess the point is that I wish I had something to hold on to. I feel like I'm drifting with no direction because I've got no passion. [Scatter-brained thoughts]