Always Waiting

May 10, 2008 - 14:23 PM PST

Looking up at a cheap florescent and listening to Classical 101,

A glimmer o hope reaches out to me as I wait outside

The dingy drug-infested DHA government house building.

The light brighten my outlook like a sign as the celestial music floats around me.

I look again but it seems to blind me in this dimly lit Japanese car.

The sharp headache I experience from the staring reminds me I'm just alone

With only a cellphone to communicate to the outside world.

I continue to wait for my security guard boyfriend to arrive

As my positive outlook fades in and out with the change of the music.

The radio DJ cuts in and kills my train of thought.

The reality of my rising body heat annoys me as I feel the need to open the windows.

The 12-year-old stale musty air of my car begins to get to me

As the fresh oxygen depletes with my every breath.

I feel lonesome and panicky at the thought of suffocating and dying alone.

My chest cramps in paranoia.

I try to look past the blaring light for something more interesting to look at.

Just an apartment window light flickers on and off again,

I look to my right and see his buzz cut head, kind smiling face, and pitch black uniform.

I shoot my seat straight up from its reclined position and unlock the automatic doors.

He plops his heavily equipped butt down in my passenger seat.

I reach in for a kiss and then we both say "I Love You" at the same time.

He tells me he's been wheeling around with a disabled resident

That he couldn't shake and apologizes for his tardiness.

He asks me to wait for him once more and I say I will.

I'd wait for forever if he asked me to.

I'd try with all my might.