Instructions for Stupid People

Feb 17, 2008 - 06:54 AM PST


Simple (Duh!) Instructions
In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
Stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)


On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)


On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)


On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
Machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
Could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)


On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)


On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish Chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)