Internal Battle on Outer Beauty

Apr 09, 2008 - 21:20 PM PST

For some people,
Beauty is within short reach.
A glance in the mirror and they have it.
But for me it’s different—
It’s a battle
To feel like
I’ve grasped even
A wisp
Of such heavenly allure.

For when I look in the mirror
It’s always something.
Be it the puff of my cheeks
Or that perfect little zit
My obstreperous locks.
Never is it adequate
At least for me.

I don’t know what it feels like
To wake up
And feel proud
Of the shape of my face
Or the circumference of my waist
Always a struggle
To feel slightly decent.

Jealousy is another story.

And yet
You tell me
Mildly convince me even,
That I am the very definition of pulchritude.
That I have captured this essence
Of which I’ve so rarely felt.

Is it so,
That your eyes capture something
That mine alone cannot?
That unlovely picture
To say the least
Which the only definition of
Is ghastly
Is somehow in your eyes
So much more?

I find it hard to believe
That I alone
Am blind to this quality
That I so possess.
And yet I believe you
Nearly without doubt
But still with an amount
Of skepticism.

But everything changes
When I wear it.
Everything
But your thoughts.
All of my worries
And disappointment
Shame and frustration
Dance away
Just as easily
As its own silk fringe.

You still think just as highly
As if I appear this elegant
Every day that you see me.
Although you compliment me just the same.

And when I twirl
Happiness is generated
From sheer delight
Of this feeling
As if I’m soaring
Within this gossamer garment

I feel the cool satin graze my knee
As I spin once more
The hem swirls about below me
My waist is suddenly thin
My brown locks are now beauteous
Happiness is magic.
So obvious
From this abrupt switch in perspective

My bare feet skip and dance
Beneath this fleeting fancy
Joy—
In its purest existence
Inhabits the corners of my mind
I can’t escape
This solid rush of bliss.

Nothing can explain
This sudden sprint of self-assurance.
This sentiment of pure elegance
It’s almost a brag
The way I flaunt my most rare feeling
Of beauty
And love for existence
Within my own skin.
And no shoes.
For my feet are bare.

And then with this brand new outlook
Upon life and this day
A smile grows across my face
“You’re so cute,”
It only boosts my glee.

And for once I can believe you
I can relate, perhaps
Just this once
And again I will
While I skip about
Without care
Or shoes
In my favorite dress.

~Hannah
let me know what you think!!