into the great unknown...

Feb 13, 2008 - 05:42 AM PST

3 months, 4 days, and 2 hours (give or take a bit) until I'm faced with the real world...maybe.
Finishing college is such a huge step. It seems like it'll never end and then when it does it's hard to believe. A lot of my close friends know exactly what they're doing after May 17th. Me? not so much. I have an idea, a plan, if you will, but it's not set in stone. My grad school applications have been in since September (they're not due till March 1)so I've played the waiting game for a few months. Now people are starting to find out if they've gotten into different programs, and I find myself wishing I had saved my applications for now, so I would be distracted somewhat. I feel a little left behind, not because I don't have a plan, but because I don't have a path that's set in stone.
I've always been nosy. I like knowing what's going on; sometimes to a fault. I tend to be the person in my group of friends who is asked the most questions (practical and gossip-wise) because I hear a lot. However, when it comes to the future, not knowing is the hardest thing for me. It reassures me that God has a sense of humor, because He made me knowing that I would want to know everything and not be able to do it. It is the avenue through which I have to learn to trust Him the most. Looking back on my life (cause hindsight is always 20/20) I see where I have been led by God without my knowledge and I know that I should trust that His plan is better than anything I could put together. Nonetheless, not knowing is the hardest thing for me to cope with. If someone tells me the beginning of a story and doesn't finish it, I'm the person who begs them to continue because it's not fair to string a person along like that.
So, here I sit, waiting, impatiently and discontentedly for the answers to my questions. Unfortunately for now, I'm still playing the waiting game, but who knows...my answers may come sooner than I think.