just a lot of whining

Feb 17, 2008 - 19:53 PM PST

so, generally I try to be objective when I blog...I try to see both sides of an issue but tonight I don't feel like it.
**disclaimer** if you don't like whining, stop reading, you'll just be aggravated when you're done.

Here's the situation: my roommate used to be one of my best friends, (used to be is the operative word). Since we began living together in August, I have come to realize that she was never much of a friend to me. As long as our relationship was balanced more towards her things were fine, but if I ever needed anything I would never get an equal return on my emotional investment. Two instances stand out in my mind:
1) I had just broken up with my last boyfriend. We dated for nearly a year and had talked seriously about getting married. As a good friend should, she told me to come over to her house to wallow, so I did. We sat down to watch a girly movie and 20 minutes in she decides she's too tired to stay up with me and goes to bed. What kind of friend does that? If the situation were reversed I would suck it up and comfort my friend even if they told me they didn't need it...bah.

2) I turned 21 this past fall, after she and I moved in together. My birthday fell on a Sunday (sucky) so we went to dinner but I didn't have the "drink till you pass out" experience that is semi-traditional of most 21-year-olds. That following Friday she had arranged a party for my birthday, mostly my friends, some of our mutual friends. Anywho, she decides she's not going to drink, that's fine who am I to pressure her, but after only an hour, proceeds to leave the party and stay overnight at a friend's house because she's not feeling well...she was the stinkin' host!! again i ask, who does that?

So, the saga continues and our friendship has deteriorated due to various situations, but she celebrated her 21st this weekend out of town with her fiancee who also has the same birthday. I was originally supposed to go with her and join in the celebration, but she sent a lame e-mail 2 weeks ago (yes an e-mail and we live in the same apartment) saying that she didn't want anyone to come because she needed to celebrate valentines day with the boy-toy. what she really meant to say, is that she didn't want me to come. The other people who received the e-mail went anyway, because she actually wanted them there.

So, my roommate came back from her "celebratory" weekend like 30 minutes ago. Didn't say one word to me, just went up to her room, got on the phone with the boy toy she saw less than 2 hours before, took a shower and shut her door. Never to be seen again. What am I, chopped liver? What did I ever do to her?

Really I'm just hurt, I'm hurt that she doesn't even want to try to have a friendship with me, and I'm hurt that I invested so much into her and she doesn't seem to care or realize what she's doing to other people. I apologize for ranting and whining so much, I just really needed to get it off my chest.

If you made it through my rant, thank you for listening, and i'm sorry you had to endure it.