Life Blog 3

Mar 20, 2008 - 13:45 PM PST

well i know i havent written anything in a while ,but i do keep in touch with you guys & gals, but thats because nothing really happened for me to write about, but unlike most days somthing did happen and i have to write about. so here goes

*sigh*, my friend was crying on the bus, and dont get wrong iv seen her cry before but its very rare and it usally has to do with somthing really emotional. but anyways i sat in the seat infront of here (he best friend to her left and another friend to my left) but we all sat there and just watched her, well no not really her friend comferted her but me and the friend next to me (TJ was to my left and Olivia to her left) just watched. i didnt know what she was crying about so i didnt know how i could help her word wise, but no one ever tells me whats wrong and stuff, they just say non of your bussnise, or well there friends do, and i guess there's so much drama in the school that stuff spreds quickly, but people have to understand that i WANT to help, but i guess there are so many guys in are school that dont really care, that they think all boys dont have emotion. and it sucks because i wated to hug her but she didnt want to be touch, and i just wanted to help but i couldn't. I wanted to be able to show emotions, which is another on of my flaws, i can only show sad emotions when im alone, and i dont know if thats good or not. but its not if i know what the problem is or not im just not able to show emotions when someone is sad, sure i'll hug them but...thats about it, and it makes me feel worthless.

which brings me to another problem. yesterday are teacher talk about are behavior when she had a substitute (it was bad behavior) and she asked us "when you come to school what do you want" some the answers were" to feel like im not being backstabbed by people" or "i dont want to worry about people calling me names" and the sad thing is, they say that, but then they dont hold there end of the bargain. anyways where im going with this is WHY do people call people names. I mean if your talking on a blog like this then i find it find to use name calling because people cant see it and its your right to be able to call them that, but when you name called at school its embarrassing, its public humiliation. why cant people just walk away from the fight or just not use names because some people take them seriously and it makes them feel like no one cares, like you an un-touchable. And one of the names that i hate with a passion is the word "gay". when you call some one gay or a lesbian you make them feel unsecured about there sexuality, all though its so overused that its just a word now and it dosen't have strong meaning. it also makes me kind of mad when you say something is gay. first of inanimate objects don't have sexuality's, second when you say "oh Disney channel is gay" well first off its aimed for little kids so its not going to be like MTV or other shows, and second off there are people who like watching disney channel, and ill admit i watch it, no and,buts, or or's. I watch it not because not only is some of it funny, but some shows have a meaning and i can relate, like on Thats so raven (yes i watch that show), i can relate. I also admit that i still have stuffed animals, and i have a purpose for having them to, i only have 5 but their for a reason, like a killer whale i won at seaworld, two dogs (i counted them as 1 because there the same) i got them on the cruise last year when we played bingo (they have bingo name tags), i have a manatee because my mom works at a bank and the mascot is a manatee, i have a monkey that say i love you which i got on v-day, and then i have a teddy bear because i like it. and sure ill take pictures and show you because i dont care, if it makes me look gay to you the whooped-d-do i dont care.

ask you can tell (hopefully) i have more emotions then most guys out there, or at least i show mine more.

well im done talking and well thats it, peace.bye

P.S. i might write something tomorrow as its Good Friday and we dont have school.(for those who dont know Good Friday is when God was put on the cross and beat to death so we could live (good for us bad for him)just to let you know)