Little Fingers

May 15, 2008 - 16:38 PM PST

I hold the pinky of a baby in a fist
and wonder
when we outgrow innocence.
Does the whiteness turn to gray,
or is clarity eclipsed?
Darling boy with your bright eyes
right to be afraid of the dark.

Your little fingers will outgrow purity.
will callous.
will caress---steal---kill.
Palms swell, hold golden coins and keys
and the little hands reach out
for the noses of fathers and their five-o-clock shadows
and they will nip the breasts of their mothers raw.

Parents
birth their guilt out
They will moan and use their big calloused hands
to stroke flesh and sadist finger nails to dig
as they roll together and row through hell
one thrust at a time.

That is the only way to really get a piece of heaven.
The devil will gift you an angel once and a while
just so long as their hands grow.

Darling boy,
your Buddha belly they like to tickle will tighten
and tempt and lust.
Abs will define the snakes of loins.

Your blue eyes like God’s skies will watch
and cry and yearn.
Pupils will dilate into houses of demons.

Your hands will swell,
stroke flesh and your sadist fingernails will dig.
You will roll and row through Hell
one thrust at a time
for your own little borrowed angel.

Because we all have our own calluses
to repent for.