Living Life

Apr 09, 2008 - 19:00 PM PST

I am feeling deeply philosophical tonight, so here we go. Life for me is an ongoing process of finding meaning and purpose. When I think about the times in my life when I have been depressed and the most miserable, I had lost my purpose. I had no idea why I was working the job I was working or why I was staying in the relationship that I knew was going no where or what the hell I was even doing with my life and how the hell I ended up in my current situation. I had never pictured myself doing or being the person that I was but somehow I ended up being someone that didn't know themselves much less anyone else.

I think I have and probably all people have a tendency to just sleep walk through life. Our industrialized society trains us to go to work 9 to 5, for 5 days a week, for 350 days a year and it puts us to sleep. It put me to sleep and I lost my purpose in life. It took me a whiel to figure this out and when I did I was too afraid to do what I knew I needed to do which was to break up with my loser gf and quit my shitty job, so I could start pursuing what really made me happy and what I believe I am meant to do and is my purpose in this world.

This brings me to another point. I think that sometimes we have to get worse before we can get better. In my situation it got bad enough that I finally took my "nuts in hand" and moved halfway across the good ole USA to actually do something that I wanted to do and something that I decided was important. Damn, it has paid off. So, as I sit here reflecting on my life, I make a wish for all the people who read this, including myself, to have the insight to realize our errant ways and the courage to fix them.