love story, predicted

Apr 18, 2008 - 19:57 PM PST

I set my eyes on him but didn't bother to blink. I made it a point to shift my eyes every now an again in fear he would have caught me staring. My range of view never left him and I find myself getting more and more infatuated. The night was over when he left for home even though the party went on hours afterward. I clouded my mind with his smile and his glance. Toxic yet I didn't let that rule over my intuition. I missed him even though I barely knew him.

The next party was a month after. I went with a slimmer figure although still a little baggy. I saw him and instantly gravitated toward his persona. He was absolutely beautiful. I talked to him, this time more extensively. We trade numbers and promise to call, then I needed to leave because of previous engagements. He text me afterward saying he would like to see me again. I don't know how to respond so I wait a little bit and come up with something witty to say. We exchange a few text messages before he calls me. We talk for hours on end until our fatigue shows in our voices. He wanted to grab a cup of coffee the next day and I agreed.

Soon after that, we were seeing each other pretty commonly and then decided to see each other exclusively. We rushed into a lot of things; love being one of them. Or was it lust? The line blurred so many times before. He was a beautiful man with the intelligence to take your breath away. It wasn't long until we discovered our own demons and started to dislike each other but we didn't admit it, not even to our friends. We fool each other into thinking we were still keen on one another and go from there.

The differences grew like an infection and it was harder to ignore. He asked to see me one night. I agree thinking that there had to be something wrong and predicted an over-due break up. He comes through my door looking irresistible. A five o'clock shadow remains on his face, a certain type of sexiness drips from his lips and his expression drops off his face as soon as he sees me. He forces a smile and makes pointless small talk. I now knew what was going on and I instigate him, giving him no clue as to my prediction. He makes the first grunt and say those unforgettable words. My heart bleeds after he left in silence and shut the door. I run after him, saying just one more chance. He doesn't believe in them, I knew this before nightfall. But what he was really saying was he doesn't believe in us. He gets in his car, leaving me to protect myself against the harsh winds. He drives away and doesn't leave me any choice but to go back inside.

I cry in the empty room with nobody to hear me. I thought this time would be different but I apparently was wrong. I numb myself and stop my useless sobbing as it helps no one. I tell my close friends about the night and go about my life as if he never existed but I know he's out there and he's happier without me.

Love. It will only break your heart. But I know in my heart that in a couple of months, he will be replaced with a newer face and this will be repeated as predicted.