My curse, my salvation

Nov 12, 2007 - 13:23 PM PST

I lay in bed, full of desire
Never once do I fell the need to move
Alive and free, but destined to remain
Still alone, no love but free

Tugging my heart, leave it alone
I can't handle the depression any longer
You tease my mind from miles away
No more will I let this continue

Sleep now, for I am well
My dreams and yours no longer mesh
You let your heart become clouded and cold
My heart has been forced into reclussion

Standing now, I am stronger than ever
Free from the bonds of your desires
My heart is yours no longer
My life is mine once more, and shall stay from you untill I die.

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This woman couls have had me forever, she chose to play games. I don't care if she is pained from it, how could I be? She tells me about her sexual escapades with all these random guys, but tells me she is waiting for me to come and take her away. I can not be with someone who is so wreckless, so dirty. Don't get me wrong, I want a girl that is a little freaky, but not trashy, or slutty. Is it so wrong for me to desire a girl to have and hold herself to the same standards and values that I live by. Or atleast close to them?

Whatever my curse in this life is, I know that it is only a matter of time before it is lifted. I can feel my soul regaining it's strength and I am finally able to be myself. Who I am in my mind, this is who I am starting to resemble in real life now. I have grown stronger, more self appealing, and generally happier since I have felt this awakening. I won't let this other junk bring me back to the bitter void of darkness that has tormented my life for so many years.

So long, old self. You were a bitter waste of time, and now I must burry you where you belong... in the past. Stay there, and bother me no longer. I am stronger now, and I see who I am meant to be. Not what the void had instore for me... no, grandure is within reach, and I will snatch it from the air like hitting a fly with a flyswatter. Come to me and make me comeplete. That is all I am waiting on, the chance to show the world who I really am... who I always have been in my mind just too afraid, too insecure to let this person eminate from within!