My inspiration

Aug 12, 2008 - 12:02 PM PST

I don't think I've talked about what I'm actually writing my screenplay about. It's hard to explain what exactly I'm writing about because I'm still defining it. I have a clear idea in my head of the story that I want to tell and the characters I need to use to tell it, I'm just having a hard time structuring it all because it's based on real life. The real life of my family, particularly my grandmother. Her story is an interesting one, I think, and she is the kind of person that would never think her story was interesting or valuable even though it absolutely is. So I'm writing it for her. I'm also inputting a bit of my personal story in there too because even though I haven't always liked my grandmother (she's a little thorny at times-- okay, most times) I feel so deeply connected to her. It's like we're so much a like in the fabric of who we are, we've just led very different lives. Her life was defined by decisions that seemed to be made on her behalf and my life is full of my decisions, my choices and my conflicts.

Part of the reason I'm writing this is because she has dementia and my goal is to get it completed so that she can see it. She won't remember having read it, but one thing I'm beginning to learn about dementia is I think even though she doesn't retain the memory of something I think she retains the feeling. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone else, but looking in her eyes I feel like she may not remember having a conversation with me but she remembers that feeling of having it, so that makes everything I do for worthwhile and important.

I live four hours away from her so I don't see her too often, but I just saw her this weekend and it broke my heart and further motivated me. Even if nothing comes of this screenplay, I need to do it and complete it for her.