quarterlife

crosstheline | • Canada , Age 15

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Nothing Special

Mar 22, 2008 - 13:29 PM PST

Hmm...
Just looking around Quarterlife. Listening to some songs that people have written. They're pretty good actually. There is no particular reason to this piece of writing. I've been in serious writers block for days now. My resoultion for this year was to keep a journal. Which to some people isn't a big deal. It is too me. I'm the type of person who will write something and then I'll go back to it two days later and completly hate it. I'm trying to tell myself now, when I go back to read it, I tell myself there's a reason I wrote what I did. And by throwing out that piece of paper, that seemed good at the time, it like ignoring or throwing away a piece of me. Ripping out a chunk of your soul.

Title: Nothing Special

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Added: 03-22-2008

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roxiespark...

Mar 23, 2008 - 08:24 AM

I started keeping a journal 11 years ago, when I was 15. It got me through a lot of tough times in high school, but I don't write in it as much as I used to. I am currently in book number 3, and once in a while I like to go back to the early entries and reread them. I still think some are kind of stupid, but at the same time I am really glad I kept them. It's a piece of my history, and I can read them and remember who I was back when I wrote it. I had a journal for a couple days when I was 11 or 12 and then when I started the new journal at age 15 I found the old one, read it, and threw it out. I ripped the entries into little pieces and dumped them in the trash. I regret that now.

Since high school I've liked to write poetry. Now it's rare, but I would sit in class and write about whatever came to mind. I had a boyfriend for one month when I was 16, and then it ended because he slept with my older brother's girlfriend (my ex was three years older than me). There were poems I had written about him, and I was so angry that he would do that to me, that I tore up those poems. I didn't want to think about him. I wanted to rip him out of my journal too, but something stopped me. I regret that I lost the poems because I liked them when I wrote them. And now I can't get them back. I had a boyfriend a few years ago and we were engaged, then broke up. I didn't throw out my journal with all the pages about him, even though I don't think I will ever want to reread that part of my life. It was really a blessing in disguise that it ended. But someday I might change my mind about rereading it, and I want to keep it just in case.

Just a thought from someone older and maybe a little wiser- even if you think it's dumb two days later and you want to throw it out, don't. Put it away where it's safe and just let it be. In the future when you take it out and reread it, you'll get a really good glimpse into yourself as you are the day you write it. And that's something to treasure.