Oh, How Things Can Change...

Jan 15, 2008 - 15:51 PM PST

The last time I posted a video bloggie-thingie here, I was thoroughly depressed and distraught over The Asshole. (I don't know why I'm using nouns instead of names... I guess it's because I don't really care to say most of the names that belong to the people that I'm about to write about.)

Now, things are totally insane, but in a fairly neato way.

As you can probably guess from the last picture that I've posted, I'm pregnant. What you probably can't tell is that I'm 33 weeks pregnant. For all of you non-mothers, the normal gestation period for a human being is about 266 days (38 weeks) from the time of fertilization until birth. [Most doctors like to say that it's 280 days (40 weeks).] Yes, my kid is small, as am I, but I credit my prior physical fitness and high metabolism for that. But, to get back to the point that I was making...

I have a human being growing inside of me, and soon, I'm going to be the world to him, not just the inside of my uterus. Needless to say, I'm more than freaked out about it, but I'm also so excited. I've spent most of my time making lists of things that I want for him, because that's the only thing that keeps me calm these days. Especially since his biological father, the Drug Addict, has gone from wanting full custody to disappearing completely... Making lists is all that I can do to not let the stress of the whole situation kill me, or my kid.

However, there's some sort of light at the end of the tunnel, in the form of The Airman. We started dating in college, and were engaged for a while. But when I went to training for the Army Reserves, I went through some changes that I really wish I hadn't, and I broke up with him to date The Asshole. But he's always been in the back of my mind. And now, he's back in the forefront.

He called me one day, and told me that he still loved me, and I admitted that I still loved him. Then, when I found out that I was to have a child, he said that he'd accept it as his own, and take us both into his arms. And he's still saying it. Now that The Drug Addict has started back to his old ways, The Airman has stepped up in a way that I could never expect or ask him to. He wants me to list him as my child's father, and once he's done with training (he's in the Air Force, if you haven't figured it out), he's planning to take us to Colorado Springs, where he'll be permanently stationed, all of which I'm agreeing to at the moment.

I've also decided to start taking control of my own destiny and what-not. I've started the process of going to school for an Associate's degree in Graphic Design, and I'm starting my own creative strategies business. I wanted a way to turn at least most of my passions into a profession, and I finally figured out that instead of trying to start up so many ventures, it would be best if I just marketed myself under one umbrella. Plus, by starting my own business and going to school online, I'll have more time to spend with my son and, soon enough, my family.

Sooo.... things have turned around completely. I don't know what's become of The Asshole: the last thing I heard, he was being mobilized to go to Iraq on the third of January. And The Drug Addict is in a homeless shelter, so I don't think that it's going to work out with him trying to be a father. So, as things stand right now, Lucian Aiden Vaughn will be the turning point of my entire life.