rabidplatypus | Hilliard, OH  • United States , Age 24

one night's mistake part 3



Apr 01, 2008 - 11:36 AM PST

Part One

Part Two

Waking Karly found herself in a pool of drool, and soon realized that pond of salvia was rested on her best friend’s chest. Looking at the face of the peaceful sleeper she felt jealous of his innocence. A single tear ran down her face and she took a deep sigh hoping not to wake her slumbering self appointed protector. Walking over to the cupboard she retrieves the hot pot and a few green tea bags.
Sitting on the couch she collects her thoughts sipping the hot tea, which reminds her stomach that she hasn’t really eaten in almost twenty hours. She leans over and pokes her soggy guardian in the head. He wakes and looks up confused as to where he is for a moment, before the past days memories came flooding back. Sitting up, hesitant to leave the bed that he had hoped to lie in for over a year now, he looked to her and asked;
“What can I do for you?”
“I’m hungry.” She cleared stated as if expecting Allen to immediately provide her with a smorgasbord of delectable foods.
“I have microwavable macaroni and cheese in my room.” He groggily offered.
“No I think we should go out for some Chinese.”
“Alright, am I driving?”
“Yes, you cannot expect me to do so in my condition.” She said trying to make light of her personal misery. Though the joke was completely lost on Allen and thinking he had made a mistake in hinting that she should drive.
“Oh I’m sorry I should have known and not asked.” Apologetically pleading to her.
“Wow, I was joking.” Attempting a smile.
“Okay, well lets head on out.” Grabbing his coat and shoes.
Heading down the hall and down the stairs to the lobby of her dorm they are stopped by a girl with a red ribbon on her collar.
“Have a condom.” The girl standing between them and their escape to the Peking Duck oddly exclaimed. Taken aback Allen took the condom and thanked her for such an odd gift. “We are handing out condoms and information this week for AIDS awareness week. Would you like a red ribbon to show your support for AIDS awareness and safe sex?” upon hearing those words, Karly’s heart skipped a beat and a sea of dread came over her. Quickly grabbing Allen’s hand she thanked the girl and took the ribbon then proceeded to pull her friend out the door.
On the way to the parking lot she did not say a word, nor did she release Allen from her fearful grip. Getting in the car she buckled up and her breathing became heavier and put her face in her hands.
“What’s wrong?” queried Allen.
“I don’t think he used a condom.” She blurted out. “I could have AIDS … or HIV... or something else like crabs or syphilis or gonorrhea!”
“Okay tomorrow the clinic opens at eight, I can go with you and they can test you and if you have something they can help.”
“There is no cure for AIDS!” she violently screamed at him; “If I have AIDS my life is over. Can I sue someone for giving me AIDS?”
“I don’t know, but if you have AIDS I will help you do whatever you need. I am here and will remain here for whatever you need. Now do you still want to get food?”
“I guess I should eat, and there is no reason to freak out since there is nothing that I can do until tomorrow. I might not even have a STD.”
“Right, tonight we eat and tomorrow we deal with this and hope that you will have nothing to worry about.” Allen said starting his car with a loud roar as the engine struggled to come alive.

* * *

Returning to the dorm after stuffing themselves with egg rolls and countless crab ragoons, Karly unlocked the door and held it open for Allen. Taking his cue he walked into the Lobby, where the RA looked up at them and reminded them that visiting hours ended in less than an hour. Once to Karly’s door Allen stood at the threshold looking at her.
“Are you going to be okay tonight?” he questioned her.
“I think so.”
Hearing this he held out his arms to give her a reassuring hug goodnight.
“Call me tonight if you need something, you can wake me I don’t care.”
“Okay.” She responded.
“Good night.” He quietly said as he turned to leave.
“Wait!” she said from within; “Can you stay here tonight?”
Standing in the doorway Allen’s mind ran with a jumble of thoughts. He stood there considering the line between being a good friend and a would-be lover making his move; unsure if staying would help him get his chance or if he was a complete and total jackass for even thinking about his wants for her at this time. In his millisecond dilemma his mouth somehow formed the words;
“Sure, I’ll stay here tonight.” Hiding a slight tremble behind his voice. Walking in he grabbed a spare blanket and lay on the couch, trying to draw the line that a friend stays on the couch. Karly changed behind her closet door into her pajamas, Allen secretly hoping through some random act of God the door would suddenly and unforeseeably fall off its hinges right then. Karly seeing that the couch was the chosen sleeping arrangements for her friend climbed into bed and said goodnight and she turned out the light. There she lay staring in the dark where the man who had given up his entire day to help her, wondering how she had been so lucky to have such a friend. Getting up she went to the couch and sat on it stirring Allen who looked at her wandering what was going on. She looked at him and then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.
“Thank you.” She said as she laid down next to him finding her way into his arms.

© 2008 Aaron Kuhns


Title: one night's mistake part 3
Tags:
Added: 04-01-2008
Channel: Writing
Rating:
     
Votes: 1
Views: 95

comments. (2)

ADD:
 
May 13, 2008 - 22:24 PM
I just read all three parts. I like them and I think you should definitely write more! Everything is pretty realistic. I don't think that if she goes to the clinic the next day she should find out that she is pregnant because that would be unrealistic since there is no way to know that soon. (from a girl's view point here!) I liked vocalillusion's idea about maybe running into the guy she slept with and elaborating on that. There are a lot of places to go there. Hope that helps :)

Apr 04, 2008 - 21:54 PM
Well, reading part three, I think that you should continue into the direction that you've set up. Go to the health center, and get her checked out for STD's. Then this is where you could make your plot twist. I can think of a couple options, I think you could have her get pregnant and then the main character would take over as would be father. You could have her get a non-serious STD, in which she would have a reminder of her "sin" at which you could have her go into some dramatic monologues and such. Or she could come out with absolutely nothing wrong, but then later encounter the guy that she slept with. This third option would then set up with conflict between the main character, Karly, and the guy she slept with.

Keep writing, and I hope that my comments could help you. If you come up with something completely different, that's good too, because then i get a surprise.

more from this user.

related media.