One Wall Down...

I find it hard to express myself on here at times.  I have things to say, not all of it important, but nonetheless should be expressed.  My life story or how I perceive things are told through my stories on here.   Indirectly writing an autobiography, I suppose.  Funny thing is I see myself later on in life retired, or just old at least, writing a novel or two.  I've always had a dream of that, but I've become so ambitious with it that I'm going big with it.  Big enough that I'm gonna need many years of living life to tell the story of an old man who never stopped searching for an Answer.  I can only hope it isn't forty-two.  

Alongside from the possible future, I should start early with the source material.  So for that reason, and to give you a better idea of me........enjoy.

     *Though I am happy, I'm also lonely.  My mom and I live together and with our work schedules, we rarely see each other.  I've once gone an entire week not seeing her.  I dont see family much, the few friends I have see even less, all mostly because of work.  

*Ive been here a whole year working, just waiting to become an official resident so that school can be about $10,000 cheaper.  the time is getting close, and besides Marissa, its what I think of most.

*Yes, her name is Marissa.  The Canadian internet girl of my dreams.  She'll be here the same time I start school.  It will be then when my new life begins.

*The most interesting thing to me is humans.  Everything about them.  I do my own kind of research, and can read people really well.  Not much can be hidden from me. 

*I'm not drawn by beauty, but by innovation or unorthodox.  I've been called both of those as well.  I get strange amounts of attention, and have had thousands of adjectives thrown at me describing who I am.  I no longer pick them out, because not even I know anymore.

*Yet most of all, I'm constantly called weird. No worries, I flaunt that trait like an Eagle Scout's sash full of patches.  I don't care because I knew at 11, and have embraced it since.  I just saw the world differently than others.  Not visually, but mentally.  I never could understand how I ended up,  no one else in the family is as weird as I am.  Leave it to me to subconsciously break the mold.  Left-path non-conformist......hey I'm left-handed too.

*I use big words alot.  It comes so easily, and I think I may have forgotten smaller words.  I've been brain dead trying to remember the simplest of words in conversation several times.

*If you haven't figured out yet, Ginger in the stories is me.  It is all true.  I wanted to signify this period of time with my friends and me.  The nicknames were a good way to visualize how I perceived them.  All different races and backgrounds between us, yet our common interest was enjoying the moment as is.  We never came to regret, and always laughed the day after our nights of debauchery and sometimes stupidity...over a bowl or two, of course.

*Sometimes, I've view the world as a math problem.  Not a simple 2+2=5; more complex. I can see years spent on jobs or in school, and a letter next to it representing any kind of variable.  Let's not forget those exponents, increased with time spent on each variable.  But wait, each problem may contain that "Imaginary i," giving us an answer nearly irrelevant to the problem.  Yet important enough to affect the outcome.  Once you put all of that into parentheses, next to another set of parentheses with a different part of your life.  Each set containing their own answer, soon put together as a bigger solution.