over due venting session

Apr 28, 2008 - 19:30 PM PST

i'm back, and im sure i wasn't missed. i took a break from blogging when quarterlife stopped as sort of a protest towards it end, and i was also grounded from the computer. haha. and i kinda forgot about the site anyway. well now that i am done excusing myself, which, by the way, is something i do too much and really must stop, i will explain to the details of my dramas in my life now. at school, a boy is the cause of my main troubles. Im glad to say, though, that i think i expressed my feelings to him as best i could considering my feelings towards him and at this point he may do what he may with the information. Basically there has been a long back and forthof him liking me, me thinking i like him, realizing i dont like him and trying to keep the relationship at a strictly friend level. Well it didn't work because after he went out with a girl who has been head over heels about him forever, he never really acted the same around me. It makes no sense because he dumped her and whatever..... but i would like to make it clear at this point that i was not upset at all about these 2 going out. infact i sorta hoped it would bring me and this guy closer. it didn't. after a while he decided he was mad at me and to this day hasn't told me why. we just had spring break and right before the break he made me cry. it made me feel like a total sensitive jerk but it makes everyone immidiatly want to be on my side so i guess its kool. i imd him just now. maybe i will post this convo on another blog, maybe not. ANYWAY.

As i mentioned before, we just had spring break. i wanted to get together with a bunch of my friends but no one contacted me. Finally when i get a hold of people, no one can make it. Every one apologises and i forgive all, but one. We take the train home together all the time and we have gotten extremely close in the past few months but, she is acting so odd lately and it could just be that she doesn't like me, but if i fall into her "im so nice and mature and im addmitting to my mistakes" act, i will always end up in the same spot. always feeling slightly left out and always feeling like im taking up her time. Well girl, if thats how it is, f*** you. haha. trying to sensor my language.
peace out for now...