[Queen]Chelsea[Bee]

Jan 01, 2008 - 11:11 AM PST

The Girl I Love, Hate, Envy.
Its sad but its true, not the loving or even the hating, but the envying. I was always the prettier, smarter one. But then she got skinny and pretty and has bigger boobs than me. I cant compete with that. So the green eyed monster came out and i brought attention to all the bad. Brought to front all her flaws when the truth is shes beautiful, shes perfect. Her family really sucks though, and I guess her best friend does too[me]. Shes got an amzing body that I would die to have, shes got these full vuluptuous breasts that of course make every male within a mile radius drool. Shes got these amazing blue eyes and chestnut brown hair. And shes got this smile that no matter how gloomy the day can light up a whole room. And no matter how afraid she really is inside she has the secure amazing facade that covers it all up. And all people see is this truly amazing girl, and the people who dont see it, have either met her on a really off day[whichis a rare occasion] or have been blinded by my own envy. I still am the smarter one, not that it even matters to me. I dont pride myself in my intelligence in fact i hate it.

There isnt really a damn thing wrong with chelsea. Shes like everyones friend. Shes brutally honest. Shes fucking stronger than anyone I have ever met in my life. Shes gorgeous, tall, thin, blue eyes. She really makes me wanna go anorexic sometimes. Fucked up right?

But she has her flaws. Shes so so insecure. She covers it up with talking and talking and talking until you literally cant stand it anymore. Shes been anorexic more than once, and whats even more fucked up about it, im jealous of that. Sooooo totally fucked up. I would never want to be her. I want to be a me that is more like her. I'm not completely jealous of her, just ALOT about her.

In fact I was so obsessed at one point that it almost turned into some twisted little crush. But I'm so totally not into girls. Tried that, it failed. Never again.