relationships

Feb 01, 2008 - 19:39 PM PST

I'm caught in this situation and I don't know how to get past it. I've been dating the same guy for over 3 years. We met in college and we pretty much have had the same set of friends at school. His roommate, who he also considers one of his closest friends.... well we've never really had a great friendship. It was one of those love-hate relationships; we would get along one day and the next be arguing over a certain topic we stood so firmly on. It has always been that way with us and in I way, I enjoyed it, simply because this roommate and I seemed alike in the sense that we fully express ourselves.

But lately I guess you can say, I've found out more about the type of person he is (still talking about the roommate). I won't state the instances but lets just say that from things that have happened, I've seen how this roommate is no more than a hypocrite,self centered, egotistic jerk. I have enough evidence to defend each description. I had no problems with my bf being friends with him, I just had a problem with being his friend myself. So to save myself from this feeling toward him, I decided to just keep my distance and avoid seeing him.

But since he lives with my bf, its a bit tough. Not too long ago, we got into this heated discussion and it started off with me defending one of our friends. He accused our friend of always spending his free time with his new gf. I was trying to make him understand that it was a new relationship for him and as his friend everyone had to give him time. Well it went on for a while until for some reason it ended up being an argument about me and my bf and how he never spent time with his roommate because of me..... that went on for a while but it made me realize how to him and a few others, I was never their real friend. I was their friend's gf. What angered me more is that he saw me a certain way; that type of gf I've never wanted to be. Since then, I haven't seen him or talked to him and nor do I plan to.

My bf missed the whole argument and from what I've told him, he hasn't seen or talked much with his roommate either. But I didn't ask him to do that. Then he accuses me of putting him in this position. I don't want to get into it really because its a stupid relationship problem that I hate and I want to avoid but that won't go away. I'm not going to tell him (my bf) what to do in the case of his roommate, I think he needs to find out the type of person he is and if my bf is ok with that then fine... they should be friends.

I'm just not the type to get over things quickly. I think about it and over-analyze, until i find a solution that fits. There's no solution that fits here yet.