Say You'll Be With Me When the Heartache Ends

Mar 18, 2008 - 14:32 PM PST

So, it's possible that I'm in love with my best male friend. This isn't exactly a brand-spankin' new revelation, though; I've suspected as much since last spring when I found out that he was moving back home to Florida. I tried denying it but the feeling intensifies every time we talk on the phone and we talked a couple of hours ago.

It's terrible because I had a crush on him early on in our friendship and I talked to him about it after I was over it--well, I had thought I was over it. It's terrible because we're friends and he doesn't see me as the kind of girl he could fall for but he's exactly the kind of guy I normally fall for but he's better. It's terrible because he's a thousand miles away in Florida while I'm here in Virginia. It's terrible because I don't think I can ever tell him that part of me is and always will be heads over heels crazy in love with him. Yet when I hear his voice (I can't explain how happy I am when I hear his voice) and after we hang up, I want to cry because I miss him so much and because I know that while he loves me, he'll never love me the way that I love him.

And it breaks my heart.