Show me the frickin $$$

Sep 03, 2008 - 12:52 PM PST

God, I am so frickin bored, lord help me that I am in an unforgiving job that pays shit. I'd like to change KP's lyrics in "Fingerprints" from '...Cause $7.75 isn't worth an hour of my hard working time when you can't afford half the shit they advertise' to 'Social services can't ever pay enough to support anyone's hard working time, and they won't ever be able to afford any of the shit that's advertised.' At this rate, I will forever be supporting the land of WallyWorld when I really hate to.

This week is my slow week. Yay. Next week I'm going to be wishing the fucking stars that I was bored. But this, this week, is insane. I cannot believe how slow it is. Sure, sure, I have things I could be doing, you know, catching up on paperwork. But that stuff doesn't need to be done right now. I feel like I'm never doing anything of any great productivity, unless there's so much to do that I'm stressed to the max and that nothing is ever going to get done and it's never ending and - ugggggggggggg. I hate those kinds of days, but really, that's the only time that I feel that I've even got a job.

I know, right? What a sob story. Millions of jobless people in this country. Billions starving in other countries, and I'm complaining. Well, yeah, I am. I went to undergraduate school to make something of myself and my life, and there's a big fat VOID where nothing is getting accomplished. Yes, I am full of piss and vinegar, when my excitement for the day amounts to Googling Elijah Wood images. Don't get me wrong, sure, I like to drool over and day dream about men I will never meet (ehhem, or date, or fall in love with, or have their babies...ho-hum, such silly dreams), but seriously, I cannot keep doing this job for another 30 years! Fuckin kill me now, if that's going to be the case.

I need something more fulfiling, I think. I'm even at the point that I'm ready to do some seasonal work, you know, maybe some landscaping in the summer (great way to work on the tan), and then bartend in winter...I'm cute, I could make some good tips. But that's so...noncommittal. I hate the concept of bouncing from place to place, it's anxiety provoking. And I so don't need anxiety.

So who knows. I'm ready for a change but I don't know when or how that is going to come or look like. My secret fantasy is that I wish I was born into $$$, and not have to work. Is that shameful? How come I can't be like Paris Hilton and have no reason to be famous, but just am? Huh??? Then all my worries would be about the 'razzi bullshit and who my bff would be for that day. That's the fuckin life I tell ya.